{"id":214,"date":"2014-12-21T17:52:27","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T15:52:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=214"},"modified":"2014-12-21T17:52:27","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T15:52:27","slug":"west-virginia-state-residency-application","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=214","title":{"rendered":"West Virginia State Residency Application"},"content":{"rendered":"
    \n
  1. Last Name: _________________________<\/li>\n

  2. First Name:
    \n____ Billy-Bob
    \n____ Billy-Joe
    \n____ Billy-Ray
    \n____ Billy-Sue
    \n____ Billy-Mae
    \n____ Billy-Jack
    \n(Check appropriate box)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n
  3. Age: ____<\/li>\n
  4. Sex: ____ M ____ F _____ N\/A<\/li>\n
  5. Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right<\/li>\n
  6. CB Handle: _____________________<\/li>\n

  7. Occupation:
    \n____ Farmer
    \n____ Mechanic
    \n____ Hair Dresser
    \n____ Un-employed
    \n____ Coal Miner<\/li>\n<\/p>\n
  8. Spouse’s Name: __________________________<\/li>\n

  9. Relationship with spouse:
    \n____ Sister
    \n____ Brother
    \n____ Aunt
    \n____ Uncle
    \n____ Cousin
    \n____ Mother
    \n____ Father
    \n____ Son
    \n____ Daughter
    \n____ Pet<\/li>\n<\/p>\n
  10. Number of children living in household: ___<\/li>\n
  11. Number that are yours: ___<\/li>\n
  12. Mother’s Name: _______________________<\/li>\n
  13. Father’s Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)<\/li>\n
  14. Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)<\/li>\n
  15. Do you (__)own or (___)rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)<\/li>\n

  16. Vehicles:
    \n____ Total number of vehicles you own
    \n____ Number of vehicles that still crank
    \n____ Number of vehicles in front yard
    \n____ Number of vehicles in back yard
    \n____ Number of vehicles on cement blocks
    \n____ Number of refrigerators on front porch<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  17. Firearms you own and where you keep them:
    \n____ truck
    \n____ bedroom
    \n____ bathroom
    \n____ kitchen
    \n____ shed<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  18. Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194_
    \nNumber of empty beer cans on floorboard or in bed of pickup: _________<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  19. Newspapers\/magazines you subscribe to:
    \n____ The National Enquirer
    \n____ The Globe
    \n____ TV Guide
    \n____ Soap Opera Digest
    \n____ Gun World<\/li>\n<\/p>\n
  20. ____ Number of times you’ve seen a UFO<\/li>\n
  21. ____ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis<\/li>\n
  22. ____ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO<\/li>\n

  23. How often do you bathe:
    \n____ Weekly
    \n____ Monthly
    \n____ Holidays
    \n____ Not Applicable<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  24. Color of teeth:
    \n____ Yellow
    \n____ Brownish-Yellow
    \n____ Brown
    \n____ Black
    \n____ No teeth
    \n____ N\/A<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  25. Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
    \n____ Red-Man<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  26. How far is your home from a paved road?
    \n____ 1 mile
    \n____ 2 miles
    \n____ don’t know
    \n____ can’t get there from here<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  27. Reason for continued residence in West Virginia:
    \n____ can’t bear to leave brother’s behind
    \n____ daddy won’t give me my pants back
    \n____ liberal wife beating laws<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  28. Bumper Stickers:
    \n____ Eat more Possum
    \n____ My other car is a piece of shit too
    \n____ Honk if you love Jesus
    \n____ If you ain’t a cowboy, you ain’t shit
    \n____ Red-man Chewing Tobacco
    \n____ Wave if you’re horny<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  29. Favorite Recreation:
    \n____ Square Dancin’
    \n____ Possum Huntin’
    \n____ Skinny Dippin’
    \n____ Craw Daddin’
    \n____ Gospel Singin’
    \n____ 4-Wheelin’
    \n____ Drankin’
    \n____ Spittin’ Backy
    \n____ Bull Chip Trowin’
    \n____ Honky Tonkin’
    \n____ Noodlin’
    \n____ Other<\/li>\n<\/p>\n
  30. Number of Dogs: ____ \n