{"id":2066,"date":"2015-01-04T20:29:57","date_gmt":"2015-01-04T18:29:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2066"},"modified":"2015-01-04T20:29:57","modified_gmt":"2015-01-04T18:29:57","slug":"how-many-members-of-your-sign-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2066","title":{"rendered":"How Many Members of Your Sign Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p><li><b>ARIES:<\/b><br \/>\nJust one. You want to make something of it?<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><b>TAURUS:<\/b><br \/>\nOne, but just try to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><b>GEMINI:<\/b><br \/>\nTwo, but the job never gets done-they just keep discussing who is supposed to do it and how it&#8217;s supposed to be done!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><b>CANCER:<\/b><br \/>\nJust one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grieving process.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><b>LEO:<\/b><br \/>\nLeos don&#8217;t change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while they&#8217;re out.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><b>VIRGO:<\/b><br \/>\nApproximately 1.000000 with an error of +\/- 1 millionth.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><b>LIBRA:<\/b><br \/>\nEr, two. Or maybe one. No, on second thought, make that two. Is that OK with you?<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><b>SCORPIO:<\/b><br \/>\nThat information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><b>SAGITTARIUS:<\/b><br \/>\nThe sun is shining, the day is young, we&#8217;ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you&#8217;re inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><b>CAPRICORN:<\/b><br \/>\nI don&#8217;t waste my time with these childish jokes.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><b>AQUARIUS:<\/b><br \/>\nWell, you have to remember that everything is energy, so&#8230;.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><b>PISCES:<\/b><br \/>\nLight bulb? What light bulb?<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>ARIES: Just one. You want to make something of it? TAURUS: One, but just try to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away. GEMINI: Two, but the job never gets done-they just keep discussing who is supposed to do it and how it&#8217;s supposed to be done! CANCER: Just [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[920,1558],"class_list":["post-2066","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-light","tag-light-bulb","tag-zodiac"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2066","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2066"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2066\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2066"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2066"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2066"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}