{"id":2060,"date":"2015-01-04T20:25:45","date_gmt":"2015-01-04T18:25:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2060"},"modified":"2015-01-04T20:25:45","modified_gmt":"2015-01-04T18:25:45","slug":"you-know-youre-a-geek-when","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2060","title":{"rendered":"You Know You&#8217;re a Geek When&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>You look at a movie trailer and think, &#8220;I have that font.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>You know you are a geek when you set up an automatic rerouting of your email to your pager.<\/li>\n<li>You are a geek when you get sudden attacks of bittersweet nostalgic feelings when thinking about your long-lost old Commodore 64, Sinclair ZX-81, TRS-80 (or whatever hardware you were raised on), and use large amounts of money\/time trying to track one down.<\/li>\n<li>You are wearing ten year old spectacles, made of steel.<\/li>\n<li>You realize you never cook, eating only take-away pizza.<\/li>\n<li>You check your web access-page more than once a day.<\/li>\n<li>You seriously consider devoting a web page to your computer. (Not the brand, mind you, but the actual computer itself)<\/li>\n<li>You have more email addresses than you do pairs of shoes.<\/li>\n<li>You get depressed when you get less than 10 email messages a day.<\/li>\n<li>You already know what you want to write both Master&#8217;s papers and your dissertation about, and you just graduated from College.<\/li>\n<li>You can discuss the philosophical and physical differences among the Tangos.<\/li>\n<li>Although vaguely insulted by pocket-protector jokes, you still find them funny.<\/li>\n<li>You plan to get two Masters degrees.<\/li>\n<li>You start getting paranoid you aren&#8217;t getting all your e-mail. (If you have sent me email, and there seems to be no life from me, try again.)<\/li>\n<li>Someone asks you what languages you know, and you reply Upper Slavic, French, Esperanto and C.<\/li>\n<li>You are on the Obscure Software and Computer Crap Junk Mailing Lists.<\/li>\n<li>You can explain how AppleTalk Networks work.<\/li>\n<li>Sleep and nightime are no longer irrevocably linked.<\/li>\n<li>You arrange to get email access no matter where you go.<\/li>\n<li>WAIS is your life.<\/li>\n<li>You walk past a Con and people know who you are.<\/li>\n<li>You have a definite philosphy of stacking wood for fires.<\/li>\n<li>You hear the word &#8220;Scuzzy&#8221; and the first thing you think of is not an adjective.<\/li>\n<li>You went to a high school where the only team with a winning record was the Chess team.<\/li>\n<li>You rig up elaborate mechanisms to do really basic tasks.<\/li>\n<li>You know about USENET cultures in groups you don&#8217;t even read.<\/li>\n<li>You put your pathfinder on the web.<\/li>\n<li>You get REALLY excited when people from countries with limited access to the &#8216;net are frequent visitors to your pages.<\/li>\n<li>You don&#8217;t hand in final papers unless they&#8217;ve been formatted on a desktop publishing program.<\/li>\n<li>You write web pages about your web pages.<\/li>\n<li>Your favorite part of Geometry was proving theorems.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ve ever contemplated collecting graters.<\/li>\n<li>You can remember your web address faster than your phone number.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ll spend a long time customizing a computer you&#8217;ll use for one day to the absolute pinacle of comfort, but you won&#8217;t bother to spend two hours sewing up a skirt, and wear the damn thing sarong style.<\/li>\n<li>You do your best work after 11 p.m.<\/li>\n<li>You work in a building where you need a badge to move between floors.<\/li>\n<li>You calculate the odds of getting one of the primo parking spaces in relation to your apartment, factoring in time, weather, season, etc, and are accurate over 80% of the time.<\/li>\n<li>You can count the number of moderately good hacker\/computer dude type films on one hand. (I promised not to froth at the mouth when I went to go see The Net &#8212; I failed miserably.)<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ve bought one of those license plate holders on which you can have your URL or email address embossed.<\/li>\n<li>You head straight past People and the always entertaining Weekly World News for this month&#8217;s Computer Shopper.<\/li>\n<li>You can track the geek gene through your family tree.<\/li>\n<li>You froth at the mouth when someone talks about the &#8220;Information Superhighway.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>You are a member of the USENET elite, invoked in posts in threads to which you have not posted.<\/li>\n<li>You can sing Tom Lehrer&#8217;s element song.<\/li>\n<li>Not only is your computer in the centre of your room, it&#8217;s set up so as allow &#8216;netting from your couch, as well as your desk chair.<\/li>\n<li>You arrange your jobs so you can telecommute.<\/li>\n<li>You organise your CDs, so the tops all face upward, alphabetically, or by record label (If you do more than one of these, you are an Anal-Retentive Geek).<\/li>\n<li>You spend a lot of time figuring out which of 100 adult goldfish are the most fertile, have the strongest genes, and combined to produce tiny little goldfish.<\/li>\n<li>You carry an 32 gig flash drive to and from work.<\/li>\n<li>You can sing &#8220;Smooth Rider&#8221; from Grease 2. If you do the hand movements while singing, you should get out more.<\/li>\n<li>You plot to get your grandmother on Email.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ve ever contemplated devoting a web page to World News Now.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You look at a movie trailer and think, &#8220;I have that font.&#8221; You know you are a geek when you set up an automatic rerouting of your email to your pager. You are a geek when you get sudden attacks of bittersweet nostalgic feelings when thinking about your long-lost old Commodore 64, Sinclair ZX-81, TRS-80 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[698],"class_list":["post-2060","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-geek","tag-geek"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2060","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2060"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2060\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2060"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2060"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2060"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}