{"id":2052,"date":"2015-01-04T20:20:32","date_gmt":"2015-01-04T18:20:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2052"},"modified":"2015-01-04T20:20:32","modified_gmt":"2015-01-04T18:20:32","slug":"silly-warning-labels","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2052","title":{"rendered":"Silly Warning Labels"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><P>Somebody had a contest to see who could make up the stupidest warning labels for various products &#8211; these were winners and runners up!<\/P><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>On a cardboard windshield sun shade:  &#8220;Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>On an infant&#8217;s bathtub:  Do not throw baby out with bath water.<\/li>\n<li>On a package of Fisherman&#8217;s Friend(R) throat lozenges: Not meant as substitute for human companionship.<\/li>\n<li>On a Magic 8 Ball:  Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test.<\/li>\n<li>On a roll of Life Savers:  Not for use as a flotation device.<\/li>\n<li>On a cup of McDonald&#8217;s coffee: Allow to cool before applying to groin area.<\/li>\n<li>On a Pentium chip:  If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it for a $2 shipping and a $3 handling charge, for a total of $4.97.<\/li>\n<li>On a refrigerator:  Refrigerate after opening.<\/li>\n<li>On a disposable razor:  Do not use this product during an earthquake.<\/li>\n<li>On a handgun:  Not recommended for use as a nutcracker.<\/li>\n<li>On pantyhose:  Not to be used in the commission of a felony. <\/li>\n<li>On a piano:  Harmful or fatal if swallowed.<\/li>\n<li>On Kevorkian&#8217;s suicide machine:  This product uses carbon monoxide, which has been found to cause cancer in laboratory rats.<\/li>\n<li>On work gloves:  For best results, do not leave at crime scene.<\/li>\n<li>On a palm sander:  Not to be used to sand palms.<\/li>\n<li>On a calendar:  Use of term &#8220;Sunday&#8221; for reference only. No meteorological warranties express or implied.<\/li>\n<li>On Odor Eaters:  Do not eat.<\/li>\n<li>On a blender:  Not for use as an aquarium.<\/li>\n<li>On syrup of ipecac:  Caution: May cause vomiting.<\/li>\n<li>On a microscope:  Objects are smaller and less alarming than they appear.<\/li>\n<li>On children&#8217;s alphabet blocks:  Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.<\/li>\n<li>On a wet suit:  Capacity, 1.<\/li>\n<li>On The Washington Post:  Do not cut up and use for blackmail note.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Somebody had a contest to see who could make up the stupidest warning labels for various products &#8211; these were winners and runners up! On a cardboard windshield sun shade: &#8220;Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place.&#8221; On an infant&#8217;s bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water. On a package of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[1504],"class_list":["post-2052","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funlists","tag-warning-labels"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2052","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2052"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2052\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2052"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2052"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2052"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}