{"id":2038,"date":"2015-01-04T20:04:42","date_gmt":"2015-01-04T18:04:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2038"},"modified":"2015-01-04T20:04:42","modified_gmt":"2015-01-04T18:04:42","slug":"things-that-can-drive-a-sane-person-insane","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2038","title":{"rendered":"Things That Can Drive a Sane Person Insane"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper that never works.<\/li>\n<li>There are always one or two ice cubes that won&#8217;t pop out of the tray.<\/li>\n<li>You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic tag in the middle of them.<\/li>\n<li>The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle.<\/li>\n<li>The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.<\/li>\n<li>There&#8217;s always a car riding your tail when you&#8217;re slowing down to find an address.<\/li>\n<li>You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.<\/li>\n<li>There&#8217;s a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING!<\/li>\n<li>You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.<\/li>\n<li>Three hours and three meetings after lunch you look in the mirror and discover a piece of parsley stuck to your front tooth.<\/li>\n<li>You drink from a soda can into which someone has extinguished a cigarette.<\/li>\n<li>You slice your tongue licking an envelope.<\/li>\n<li>Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you&#8217;re trying to get a reading.<\/li>\n<li>A station comes in brilliantly when you&#8217;re standing near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.<\/li>\n<li>You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and your entire laundry comes out covered with lint.<\/li>\n<li>The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing.<\/li>\n<li>A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling.<\/li>\n<li>You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7 PM instead of 7 am.<\/li>\n<li>You rub on hand cream and can&#8217;t turn the bathroom doorknob to get out. <\/li>\n<li>Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.<\/li>\n<li>You can&#8217;t look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don&#8217;t know how to spell it.<\/li>\n<li>You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you&#8217;re just browsing.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper that never works. There are always one or two ice cubes that won&#8217;t pop out of the tray. You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic tag in the middle of them. The person behind you in the supermarket runs his [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[842],"class_list":["post-2038","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funlists","tag-insanity"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2038","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2038"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2038\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2038"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2038"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2038"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}