{"id":2034,"date":"2015-01-04T20:02:07","date_gmt":"2015-01-04T18:02:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2034"},"modified":"2015-01-04T20:02:07","modified_gmt":"2015-01-04T18:02:07","slug":"signs-that-ronald-mcdonald-is-growing-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2034","title":{"rendered":"Signs That Ronald McDonald is Growing Up"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>No longer signs paychecks in crayon.<\/li>\n<li>That new &#8220;Mr. Happy Meal.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Distinctive odor of bourbon and stale cigars at personal appearances.<\/li>\n<li>Two words:  sagging buns.<\/li>\n<li>Replacing floppy red shoes with floppy black wingtips.<\/li>\n<li>Now offering &#8220;Happy Hour&#8221; Meals.<\/li>\n<li>No longer asks women if they want to see his McNuggets.<\/li>\n<li>Instead of size 46 shoe, now takes a size 62.<\/li>\n<li>Gin has replaced make-up as his nose-reddener.<\/li>\n<li>That telltale bottle of Clairol Fire Engine Red #4 in his shower.<\/li>\n<li>Seen with Jack-in-the-Box at strip clubs stuffing fries down g-strings.<\/li>\n<li>Three kids injured in unfortunate stubble incident.<\/li>\n<li>Has a McBeergut.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>No longer signs paychecks in crayon. That new &#8220;Mr. Happy Meal.&#8221; Distinctive odor of bourbon and stale cigars at personal appearances. Two words: sagging buns. Replacing floppy red shoes with floppy black wingtips. Now offering &#8220;Happy Hour&#8221; Meals. No longer asks women if they want to see his McNuggets. Instead of size 46 shoe, now [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24,27],"tags":[747,1273],"class_list":["post-2034","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-foods","category-funlists","tag-growing-up","tag-ronald-mcdonald"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2034","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2034"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2034\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2034"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2034"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2034"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}