{"id":2032,"date":"2015-01-04T20:00:48","date_gmt":"2015-01-04T18:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2032"},"modified":"2015-01-04T20:00:48","modified_gmt":"2015-01-04T18:00:48","slug":"new-years-resolutions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2032","title":{"rendered":"New Year&#8217;s Resolutions"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Have any of you stuck to your New Years Resolutions???<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>I will try to figure out why I &#8220;really&#8221; need 12 e-mail addresses.<\/li>\n<li>I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). A phone call every now and then would be appreciated.<\/li>\n<li>I resolve to work with neglected children &#8212; my own.<\/li>\n<li>I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.<\/li>\n<li>I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages  and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.<\/li>\n<li>I resolve to back up my 600 GB hard drive daily&#8230;well, once a week&#8230;okay, monthly then&#8230;or maybe&#8230; at least once a year.<\/li>\n<li>I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I&#8217;m not a clock watcher.<\/li>\n<li>I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning&#8230; 4:30 is much more practical since my friends overseas already had time to answer me by then.<\/li>\n<li>When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, &#8220;LOL&#8230; LOL!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>I will read the manual&#8230;  just as soon as I can find it.<\/li>\n<li>I will think of a password other than &#8220;password.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>I resolve&#8230; I resolve to&#8230; I resolve to, uh&#8230; I resolve to, uh, get my, er&#8230; I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!<\/li>\n<li>I will quit spending my entire day on Facebook and get out to see some real people face to fac&#8230; ooh, look at that status!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Have any of you stuck to your New Years Resolutions??? I will try to figure out why I &#8220;really&#8221; need 12 e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). A phone call every now and then would be appreciated. I resolve to work with neglected children &#8212; my own. I will answer [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[54],"tags":[1068,1259],"class_list":["post-2032","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-season","tag-new-years","tag-resolutions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2032","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2032"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2032\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2032"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2032"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2032"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}