{"id":203,"date":"2014-12-21T17:36:18","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T15:36:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=203"},"modified":"2014-12-21T17:36:18","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T15:36:18","slug":"application-for-permission-to-live-in-massachusetts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=203","title":{"rendered":"Application for Permission to Live in Massachusetts"},"content":{"rendered":"

    Name: _____________________________________________________________________
    \n(extra space left due to new social awareness)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

  1. Ethnic Information: (voluntary)
    \n____ Eskimo
    \n____ American Indian
    \n____ Hispanic
    \n____ Asian
    \n____ African-American
    \n____ American-African
    \n____ Black-American
    \n____ Other Group With A Long History Of Oppression By White Males
    \n(specify, so we can help you form a political action group)
    \n___________________________________________________<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  2. Type of Cars Owned (pick two):
    \n____ SAAB
    \n____ Volvo
    \n____ BMW
    \n____ Mercedes
    \n____ Honda<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  3. You don’t own any *American* cars, do you?
    \n____ NO<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  4. Car Equipment:
    \n____ Blaupunkt
    \n____ Passport
    \n____ Escort
    \n____ Vuarnet Sunglasses
    \n____ Stash
    \n____ CD
    \n____ GPS
    \n____ Cellular Phone
    \n____ Ski Rack
    \n____ Bicycle Rack
    \n____ Wine Rack<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  5. Bumper Stickers:
    \n____ “You can’t hug a child with nuclear arms”
    \n____ “Greenpeace”
    \n____ “Obama\/Biden”
    \n____ “Save the Whales”
    \n____ “Farms not Arms”<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  6. Sexual Orientation:
    \n____ Gay
    \n____ Lesbian
    \n____ Other<\/p>\n

    (note: failure to give the proper answer to the above means you can’t live in certain towns on the Cape, or get elected to Congress)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  7. Favorite Cause:
    \n____ Whales
    \n____ Baby Seals
    \n____ Snail Darter
    \nTotal given to these causes in the last 12 months: ________________<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  8. Favorite Drugs:
    \n____ Crack
    \n____ Coke
    \n____ Grass
    \n____ Kitty’s Diet Plan<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  9. Which of the Following Should be Banned? (check all that apply)
    \n____ The Bomb
    \n____ Handguns
    \n____ All guns
    \n____ Nuclear Power
    \n____ Cigarettes
    \n____ The NRA
    \n____ Republicans<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  10. Which of the Following Should be Legalized?: (check all that apply)
    \n____ Crack
    \n____ Coke
    \n____ Grass
    \n____ Needles
    \n____ Flag Burning<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  11. Favorite Beer:
    \n____ Samuel Adams
    \n____ Beck’s
    \n____ Corona (w\/lime)
    \n____ Latest trendy brand<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  12. Favorite Politician:
    \n____ Ted Kennedy
    \n____ John Kennedy
    \n____ Bobby Kennedy
    \n____ Joe Kennedy<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  13. Club Memberships:
    \n____ ACLU
    \n____ Greenpeace
    \n____ SDS
    \n____ N.O.W.
    \n____ A.F.S.C.M.E.
    \n____ Billy Bulger Breakfast Club
    \n____ Provincetown Boys Club
    \n____ Bull-Dykes Kennel Club<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  14. Even though we can’t ever get any more power from Hydro-Quebec, don’t you
    \nthink that Seabrook should remain closed forever?
    \n____ YES<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  15. Don’t you think that the people in the Midwest should stop dropping acid rain on our vacation homes in Vermont, even if it means that they all lose their jobs?
    \n____ YES<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  16. How many watts (per channel, RMS) is your principal home stereo?
    \n____ 100W
    \n____ 200W
    \n____ More than that<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

  17. How many air conditioners do you have to help you through our long New England summers?:
    \n____ 2
    \n____ 3
    \n____ 4
    \n____ Central Air<\/p>\n

    (note: Fewer than two A\/C units may qualify you for state subsidies if you are a non-white unemployed Democrat)<\/p>\n

  18. Favorite TV Show:
    \n____ Once and Again
    \n____ Providence<\/li>\n<\/p>\n

    <\/OL><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Name: _____________________________________________________________________ (extra space left due to new social awareness) Ethnic Information: (voluntary) ____ Eskimo ____ American Indian ____ Hispanic ____ Asian ____ African-American ____ American-African ____ Black-American ____ Other Group With A Long History Of Oppression By White Males (specify, so we can help you form a political action group) ___________________________________________________ Type of Cars […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[149,667,970],"class_list":["post-203","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-apps-and-forms","tag-application","tag-forms","tag-massachusetts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/203","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=203"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/203\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=203"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=203"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=203"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}