{"id":2020,"date":"2015-01-04T19:06:32","date_gmt":"2015-01-04T17:06:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=2020"},"modified":"2015-01-04T19:06:32","modified_gmt":"2015-01-04T17:06:32","slug":"overheard-in-2999","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=2020","title":{"rendered":"Overheard in 2999&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>&#8220;Thank you for calling Dell.  All operators are currently helping other  customers.  You have been on hold for approximately&#8230; one&#8230; thousand&#8230;  years&#8230;.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Senator Thurmond, your wife is on line 3.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Another Christmas like this, and Amazon.com just may turn a profit!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Chris White, you have been defrosted to stand judgment for the recently  discovered document known as &#8216;The Rejected Hurricane Name List&#8217;.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I found it on the Galactinet &#8212; I think it&#8217;s a picture of how humans used to reproduce.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Hi, I&#8217;m Dick Clark, here to count you down into the new millennium!&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I did *not* have cybersex with that netbot.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Okay, I&#8217;ll go over it one more time:  It doesn&#8217;t really start until January 1, *3001* because&#8230;&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Middle East peace talks have been put on hold once again&#8230;&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;25,000 zelgers, same as on Mars.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;We at NASA cannot be discouraged by this recent failure, and we are  fully confident that our next manned mission to Mars will be a complete  success.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of Islam&#8230;&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Thank you for calling Dell. All operators are currently helping other customers. You have been on hold for approximately&#8230; one&#8230; thousand&#8230; years&#8230;.&#8221; &#8220;Senator Thurmond, your wife is on line 3.&#8221; &#8220;Another Christmas like this, and Amazon.com just may turn a profit!&#8221; &#8220;Chris White, you have been defrosted to stand judgment for the recently discovered document [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[690,1116],"class_list":["post-2020","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funlists","tag-future","tag-overheard"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2020","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2020"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2020\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2020"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2020"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2020"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}