{"id":1996,"date":"2015-01-04T18:49:40","date_gmt":"2015-01-04T16:49:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=1996"},"modified":"2015-01-04T18:49:40","modified_gmt":"2015-01-04T16:49:40","slug":"long-term-effects-of-listening-to-country-western-music","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1996","title":{"rendered":"Long-Term Effects of Listening to Country Western Music"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Gun rack mysteriously appears in the back of your car. <\/li>\n<li>You name your kids Garth, Reba, Conway and Merle. <\/li>\n<li>You form a deeply-rooted mistrust of relationships,  fashion trends, and foreign automobiles. <\/li>\n<li>Big hats, big buckles, &amp; big bills to the Home Shopping Network.<\/li>\n<li>You start to notice just how doggone attractive yer sister is.<\/li>\n<li>Thinking more and more the trash can lid would make one helluva belt buckle.<\/li>\n<li>Diet of chicken-fried steak and Budweiser gives skin an unearthly glow.<\/li>\n<li>At each of life&#8217;s major crossroads, you ask yourself, &#8220;What would Willie Nelson do?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>You become unable to discriminate between one too many and Whoooodoggie!<\/li>\n<li>You take to speaking in cornball analogies like achin&#8217; takes to a cheatin&#8217; heart. <\/li>\n<li>You find yourself turning tricks to support $100-a-day hair spray habit.<\/li>\n<li>You can &#8220;Lather, Rinse and Repeat&#8221; until the cows come home, but your hair still looks like it has a quart of 30-weight in it. <\/li>\n<li>Yet *another* worn-out CD player. <\/li>\n<li>Your Bleedin&#8217; Ear. <\/li>\n<li>You begin to worship Jeff Foxworthy the way the French worship Jerry Lewis.<\/li>\n<li>Stong urge to visit a barber and ask for &#8220;The Lovett.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Gun rack mysteriously appears in the back of your car. You name your kids Garth, Reba, Conway and Merle. You form a deeply-rooted mistrust of relationships, fashion trends, and foreign automobiles. Big hats, big buckles, &amp; big bills to the Home Shopping Network. You start to notice just how doggone attractive yer sister is. Thinking [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[446],"class_list":["post-1996","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-musics","tag-country-music"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1996","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1996"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1996\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1996"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1996"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1996"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}