{"id":1994,"date":"2015-01-04T18:48:12","date_gmt":"2015-01-04T16:48:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=1994"},"modified":"2015-01-04T18:48:12","modified_gmt":"2015-01-04T16:48:12","slug":"you-know-your-life-stinks-when","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1994","title":{"rendered":"You Know Your Life Stinks When&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>A black cat crosses your path and drops dead.<\/li>\n<li>Your over 25 and still live with your parents or some other relative. If you are 30 or more, well enough said&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>You take an assertiveness training course and you&#8217;re afraid to tell your wife.<\/li>\n<li>Your chauffeur is on parole for car theft. (Actually, you just remembered you don&#8217;t even own a car like that.)<\/li>\n<li>You have to take out a loan just to get money for the down payment.<\/li>\n<li>Your children&#8217;s school calls to surrender.<\/li>\n<li>The bride&#8217;s family throws rocks instead of rice.<\/li>\n<li>Your wife wraps your lunch in a road map.<\/li>\n<li>Your plants do better when you do *not* talk to them.<\/li>\n<li>All your modeling jobs are for cartoonists.<\/li>\n<li>Your engagement ring is, upon closer inspection, plastic.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A black cat crosses your path and drops dead. Your over 25 and still live with your parents or some other relative. If you are 30 or more, well enough said&#8230; You take an assertiveness training course and you&#8217;re afraid to tell your wife. Your chauffeur is on parole for car theft. (Actually, you just [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[1463],"class_list":["post-1994","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funlists","tag-trouble"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1994","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1994"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1994\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1994"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1994"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1994"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}