{"id":195,"date":"2014-12-21T17:23:39","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T15:23:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=195"},"modified":"2014-12-21T17:23:39","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T15:23:39","slug":"you-know-youve-been-on-aol-too-long-when","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=195","title":{"rendered":"You Know You&#8217;ve Been on AOL Too Long When&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>A friend calls and says, &#8220;How are you?  Your phones have been busy for a year!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>You forgot how to work the TV remote control.<\/li>\n<li>You see something funny and scream, &#8220;LOL, LOL.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>You meet the mailman at the curb and swear he said YOU&#8217;VE GOT MAIL.<\/li>\n<li>You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.<\/li>\n<li>You fall asleep, but instead of dreams you get IMs.<\/li>\n<li>You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have AOL in your car.<\/li>\n<li>Tech support calls YOU for help.<\/li>\n<li>You beg your friends to get an account so you can &#8220;hang out.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.<\/li>\n<li>You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.<\/li>\n<li>You say &#8220;he he he he&#8221; or &#8220;heh heh heh&#8221; instead of laughing.<\/li>\n<li>You say &#8220;SCROLL UP&#8221; when someone asks what it was you said.<\/li>\n<li>You sneak away to your computer when everyone goes to sleep.<\/li>\n<li>You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.<\/li>\n<li>You look at an annoying person off-line and wish that you had your ignore button handy.<\/li>\n<li>You start to experience &#8220;withdrawal&#8221; after not being online for 2 hours.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Where did the time go?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>You sit on AOL for 6 hours waiting for that certain special person to sign on.<\/li>\n<li>You get up in the morning and go online before you get your coffee.<\/li>\n<li>&#8230;..You end your sentences with&#8230;..three or more periods&#8230;&#8230;.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ve gone to an unstaffed AOL room to give tech support.<\/li>\n<li>You think faster than the computer.<\/li>\n<li>You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}}and **kisses**.<\/li>\n<li>Being called a newbie is a major insult to you.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;re on the phone and say BRB.<\/li>\n<li>Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the blood shot eyes. <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A friend calls and says, &#8220;How are you? Your phones have been busy for a year!&#8221; You forgot how to work the TV remote control. You see something funny and scream, &#8220;LOL, LOL.&#8221; You meet the mailman at the curb and swear he said YOU&#8217;VE GOT MAIL. You sign off and your screen says you [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[145,406],"class_list":["post-195","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-aol","tag-aol","tag-computer"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/195","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=195"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/195\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=195"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=195"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=195"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}