{"id":1944,"date":"2015-01-04T17:57:35","date_gmt":"2015-01-04T15:57:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=1944"},"modified":"2015-01-04T17:57:35","modified_gmt":"2015-01-04T15:57:35","slug":"parental-observations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1944","title":{"rendered":"Parental Observations"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning.<\/li>\n<li>A child will not spill on a dirty floor.<\/li>\n<li>A young child is a noise with dirt on it.<\/li>\n<li>A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires.<\/li>\n<li>An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.<\/li>\n<li>Avenge yourself; live long enough to be a problem to your children.<\/li>\n<li>Be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose your nursing home.<\/li>\n<li>God invented mothers because he couldn&#8217;t be everywhere at once.<\/li>\n<li>Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.<\/li>\n<li>Having children will turn you into your parents.<\/li>\n<li>If a child looks like his father, that&#8217;s heredity; if he looks like a neighbor, that&#8217;s environment.<\/li>\n<li>If you have trouble getting your children&#8217;s attention, just sit down and look comfortable.<\/li>\n<li>It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.<\/li>\n<li>It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they&#8217;ll know as little as their parents.<\/li>\n<li>Money isn&#8217;t everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.<\/li>\n<li>Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.<\/li>\n<li>One child is often not enough, but two children can be far too many.<\/li>\n<li>You can learn many things from children&#8230; like how much patience you have.<\/li>\n<li>Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.<\/li>\n<li>The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.<\/li>\n<li>There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.<\/li>\n<li>Those who say they &#8220;sleep like a baby&#8221; haven&#8217;t got one.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning. A child will not spill on a dirty floor. A young child is a noise with dirt on it. A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires. An unbreakable toy [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[359,1087,1126],"class_list":["post-1944","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-families","tag-children","tag-observations","tag-parenting"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1944","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1944"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1944\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1944"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1944"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1944"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}