{"id":1940,"date":"2015-01-04T17:55:08","date_gmt":"2015-01-04T15:55:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=1940"},"modified":"2015-01-04T17:55:08","modified_gmt":"2015-01-04T15:55:08","slug":"my-dad-always-says","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1940","title":{"rendered":"My Dad Always Says&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>If it ain&#8217;t broke, fix it till it is.<\/li>\n<li>I don&#8217;t get even, I get odder.<\/li>\n<li>I am having an out of money experience.<\/li>\n<li>I am in shape. Round is a shape.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m not afraid of heights, I&#8217;m afraid of widths.<\/li>\n<li>Practice safe eating, always use condiments.<\/li>\n<li>Anything free is worth what you pay for it.<\/li>\n<li>Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.<\/li>\n<li>It hurts to be on the cutting edge.<\/li>\n<li>If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.<\/li>\n<li>If it weren&#8217;t for me, there&#8217;d just be a pile of my clothes on the floor.<\/li>\n<li>I am not a perfectionist. My parents were though.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If it ain&#8217;t broke, fix it till it is. I don&#8217;t get even, I get odder. I am having an out of money experience. I am in shape. Round is a shape. I&#8217;m not afraid of heights, I&#8217;m afraid of widths. Practice safe eating, always use condiments. Anything free is worth what you pay for [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[632,1285],"class_list":["post-1940","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-families","tag-fathers","tag-sayings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1940","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1940"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1940\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1940"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1940"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1940"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}