{"id":1938,"date":"2015-01-04T17:53:58","date_gmt":"2015-01-04T15:53:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=1938"},"modified":"2015-01-04T17:53:58","modified_gmt":"2015-01-04T15:53:58","slug":"on-mothers-in-law","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1938","title":{"rendered":"On Mothers-In-Law"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Behind every successful man stands a devoted wife and a surprised mother-in-law.<\/li>\n<li>Adam and Eve were the happiest and the luckiest couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law.<\/li>\n<li>Sometimes you cannot tell if a man is trying so hard to be a success to please his wife or to spite his mother-in-law. <\/li>\n<li>Does it really surprise anyone that Mother-in-law&#8217;s Day occurs less than one week before Halloween? <\/li>\n<p><li>&#8220;My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;How is she now?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;She&#8217;s fine.  But, the dog died.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>Hello.  Your mother-in-law fell into my pool with crocodiles.  The crocodiles are yours, so you save them.<\/li>\n<li>A pharmacist tells a customer: &#8220;In order to buy arsenic you should need a legal prescription. A picture of your mother-in-law just isn&#8217;t enough.&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>Mother to daughter:  &#8220;Your boyfriend is such a jerk that I would be delighted to be his mother-in-law.&#8221; <\/li>\n<p><li>The lawyer cabled his client overseas: &#8220;Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep.  Shall we order burial, embalming or cremation?&#8221;<br \/>\nBack came the reply, &#8220;Take no chances &#8212; order all three.&#8221; <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>One day a husband was late coming from work and his wife was nervous. &#8220;Oh, I know he has an affair with some woman,&#8221; she said to her mother.<br \/>\n&#8220;Why do you always think the worst?&#8221; her mother replied, &#8220;Maybe he is just in some kind of accident.&#8221; <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>Have you heard about this man who took his  mother-in-law to the zoo and threw her into the  crocodile pool.  He is now being sued by the  RSPCA for being cruel to the crocodiles. <\/li>\n<p><li>Two neighbors were having a chat when one  said, &#8220;I took my dog to the vet today because  it bit my mother-in-law.&#8221; <br \/>\nThe other asked, &#8220;Did you put it to sleep?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;No, of course not,&#8221; said the first, &#8220;I had its teeth sharpened.&#8221; <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog in the street.<br \/>\n&#8220;Oh, that&#8217;s terrible&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Yes, it was terrible to watch the dog die slowly in convulsions.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>The president of the service club asked his new member, &#8220;Would you like to donate something to the home for the aged?&#8221;<br \/>\nThe new member replied, &#8220;Yes, my mother-in-law.&#8221; <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Wife: &#8220;Dear, this afternoon the big clock fell off the wall.  Had it fallen a moment sooner, my mother would have been hit on the head and badly hurt.&#8221;<br \/>\nHusband: &#8220;Oh, my!  That clock has always been slow!&#8221; <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Behind every successful man stands a devoted wife and a surprised mother-in-law. Adam and Eve were the happiest and the luckiest couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law. Sometimes you cannot tell if a man is trying so hard to be a success to please his wife or to spite his [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[1039],"class_list":["post-1938","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-families","tag-mother-in-law"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1938","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1938"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1938\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1938"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1938"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1938"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}