{"id":1904,"date":"2015-01-04T17:26:48","date_gmt":"2015-01-04T15:26:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=1904"},"modified":"2015-01-04T17:26:48","modified_gmt":"2015-01-04T15:26:48","slug":"things-youll-never-hear-a-dad-say","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1904","title":{"rendered":"Things You&#8217;ll Never Hear a Dad Say"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Well, how &#8217;bout that?&#8230; I&#8217;m lost!  Looks like we&#8217;ll have to stop and ask for directions.<\/li>\n<li>You know Pumpkin, now that you&#8217;re thirteen, you&#8217;ll be ready for unchaperoned car dates.  Won&#8217;t that be fun?<\/li>\n<li>I noticed that all your friends have a certain &#8220;up yours&#8221; attitude &#8230; I like that.<\/li>\n<li>Here&#8217;s a credit card and the keys to my new car &#8212; GO CRAZY.<\/li>\n<li>What do you mean you wanna play football?  Figure skating not good enough for you, son?<\/li>\n<li>Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend &#8230; you might want to consider throwing a party.<\/li>\n<li>Well, I don&#8217;t know what&#8217;s wrong with your car.  Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies &#8212; you know &#8212; that makes it run or something.  Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.<\/li>\n<li>No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring &#8212; now quit your belly-aching, and let&#8217;s go to the mall.<\/li>\n<li>Whaddya wanna go and get a job for?  I make plenty of money for you to spend.<\/li>\n<li>Father&#8217;s Day? aahh &#8212; don&#8217;t worry about that &#8212; it&#8217;s no big deal.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Well, how &#8217;bout that?&#8230; I&#8217;m lost! Looks like we&#8217;ll have to stop and ask for directions. You know Pumpkin, now that you&#8217;re thirteen, you&#8217;ll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won&#8217;t that be fun? I noticed that all your friends have a certain &#8220;up yours&#8221; attitude &#8230; I like that. Here&#8217;s a credit card and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[632],"class_list":["post-1904","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-families","tag-fathers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1904","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1904"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1904\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1904"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1904"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1904"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}