{"id":1899,"date":"2015-01-04T01:55:38","date_gmt":"2015-01-03T23:55:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=1899"},"modified":"2015-01-04T01:55:38","modified_gmt":"2015-01-03T23:55:38","slug":"id-love-to-but","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1899","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;d Love to But&#8230;."},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>I want to spend more time with my blender.<\/li>\n<li>The man on television told me to say tuned.<\/li>\n<li>It wouldn&#8217;t be fair to the other Beautiful People.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m building a pig from a kit.<\/li>\n<li>I did my own thing and now I&#8217;ve got to undo it.<\/li>\n<li>There&#8217;s a disturbance in the Force.<\/li>\n<li>I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m attending the opening of my garage door.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;ve come down with a really horrible case of something or other.<\/li>\n<li>My plot to take over the world is thickening.<\/li>\n<li>I have to fulfill my potential.<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s too close to the turn of the century.<\/li>\n<li>I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.<\/li>\n<li>I changed the lock on my door and now I can&#8217;t get out.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m uncomfortable when I&#8217;m alone or with others.<\/li>\n<li>I promised to help a friend fold road maps.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m trying to be less popular.<\/li>\n<li>I have to study for a blood test.<\/li>\n<li>I have to rotate my crops.<\/li>\n<li>I prefer to remain an enigma.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.<\/li>\n<li>&#8230;..and, I won&#8217;t accept YES for an answer!!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I want to spend more time with my blender. The man on television told me to say tuned. It wouldn&#8217;t be fair to the other Beautiful People. I&#8217;m building a pig from a kit. I did my own thing and now I&#8217;ve got to undo it. There&#8217;s a disturbance in the Force. I have to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[611,924],"class_list":["post-1899","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funlists","tag-excuses","tag-lists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1899","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1899"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1899\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1899"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1899"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1899"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}