{"id":1895,"date":"2015-01-04T01:53:37","date_gmt":"2015-01-03T23:53:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=1895"},"modified":"2015-01-04T01:53:37","modified_gmt":"2015-01-03T23:53:37","slug":"surprizes-on-the-bob-dylanpaul-simon-summer-tour","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1895","title":{"rendered":"Surprizes on the Bob Dylan\/Paul Simon Summer Tour"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Brisk ticket sales as fans realize they no longer need baby-sitters for their 40 year old children.<\/li>\n<li>Harmonica solo on &#8220;Bridge Over Troubled Water&#8221; seems to be in the wrong key.<\/li>\n<li>Audience shouts for &#8220;Sounds of Silence&#8221; every time Dylan sings.<\/li>\n<li>Applause causes Clapper-controlled light show to freak out.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Hey!  Don&#8217;t Bogart that Viagra, dude!!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Updated lyrics: &#8220;EVERYbody must get stoned&#8230; besides, it helps my glaucoma!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Microsoft provides cutting-edge software used to translate Dylan&#8217;s  vocals in real-time.<\/li>\n<li>Paul&#8217;s the neat freak prude, Bob&#8217;s the beer-guzzling slob.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Hyears to yeeewwww, Meeeeesuuus Rhhhobinson. Jesus luvs yeeeewwww mooorrrrrre than yeeeeewwwwww will knooooooow.    O&#8230;O&#8230;O.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Now raise your cell phones way up in the air, and press star 99 like you just don&#8217;t care!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Art Garfunkel gets chief roadie job because he&#8217;s the only one who can understand Dylan&#8217;s Chinese take-out order.<\/li>\n<li>PA announcer introduces them as Mumbly Spice and Shorty Spice.<\/li>\n<li>Simon&#8217;s emotional ballad for Bob: &#8220;Fifty Ways to Kill Your Liver&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Brisk ticket sales as fans realize they no longer need baby-sitters for their 40 year old children. Harmonica solo on &#8220;Bridge Over Troubled Water&#8221; seems to be in the wrong key. Audience shouts for &#8220;Sounds of Silence&#8221; every time Dylan sings. Applause causes Clapper-controlled light show to freak out. &#8220;Hey! Don&#8217;t Bogart that Viagra, dude!!&#8221; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[254,924,1140,1379],"class_list":["post-1895","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-musics","tag-bob-dylan","tag-lists","tag-paul-simon","tag-summer-tour"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1895","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1895"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1895\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1895"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1895"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1895"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}