{"id":1893,"date":"2015-01-04T01:52:24","date_gmt":"2015-01-03T23:52:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=1893"},"modified":"2015-01-04T01:52:24","modified_gmt":"2015-01-03T23:52:24","slug":"the-ten-articles-of-duct-tape","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1893","title":{"rendered":"The Ten Articles of Duct Tape"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><b>Article I<\/b><br \/>\nDuct Tape cannot fix everything.  I promise to refrain from trying to fix the following things with duct Tape:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>The National Debt<\/li>\n<li>The San Andreas Fault<\/li>\n<li>A Broken Heart<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<p><li><b>Article II<\/b><br \/>\nDuct tape should not be forced on others.  Some people don&#8217;t like duct tape on their house, car, chairs, pants, shoes, gloves, tools, televisions, pets, sports gear, and farm equipment, but that&#8217;s their problem.  I will learn to be more tolerant of these people and keep my duct tape to myself.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><b>Article III<\/b><br \/>\nOther forms of tape are probably still necessary, even with duct tape. I am not sure for what, though.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><b>Article IV<\/b><br \/>\nI should never exaggerate when telling my friends about my best duct tape stories.  As a duct tape &#8220;Adhesive Solutions Engineer,&#8221; my true exploits are usually hard enough to believe, anyway.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><b>Article V<\/b><br \/>\nThere are some things that I should throw away, even with duct tape around.  (I know that I may need to ask for help in identifying what these things might be).<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><b>Article VI<\/b><br \/>\nWhen I forget to take my duct tape with me, it&#8217;s okay&#8230;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><b>Article VII<\/b><br \/>\nPeople that don&#8217;t use duct tape aren&#8217;t bad people &#8212; they just don&#8217;t know any better.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><b>Article VIII<\/b><br \/>\nDuct tape is not all-powerful, although it has many of the same attributes as the Force &#8212; it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the whole universe together. (&#8220;May the Duct Tape be with you.&#8221;)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><b>Article IX<\/b><br \/>\nI will never misspell duct tape as duck tape&#8230;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><b>Article X<\/b><br \/>\nIt&#8217;s okay to admit that I need duct tape in my life &#8212; in as many colours, lengths, and widths as is possible &#8212; because nobody is perfect.  In other words, everyone can use a little duct tape now and then.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Article I Duct Tape cannot fix everything. I promise to refrain from trying to fix the following things with duct Tape: The National Debt The San Andreas Fault A Broken Heart Article II Duct tape should not be forced on others. Some people don&#8217;t like duct tape on their house, car, chairs, pants, shoes, gloves, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[556,924,1279],"class_list":["post-1893","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funlists","tag-duct-tape","tag-lists","tag-rules"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1893","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1893"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1893\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1893"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1893"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1893"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}