{"id":1891,"date":"2015-01-04T01:51:04","date_gmt":"2015-01-03T23:51:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=1891"},"modified":"2015-01-04T01:51:04","modified_gmt":"2015-01-03T23:51:04","slug":"things-you-dont-want-to-hear-in-a-department-store","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1891","title":{"rendered":"Things You Don&#8217;t Want To Hear in a Department Store"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>&#8220;You want to use the fitting room or try this on at my place?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Check it out &#8212; this one&#8217;s good for hiding body parts.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;You know how we can offer such low prices? We buy direct from Wal-Mart!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Try our new scent &#8212; it makes you smell just like Regis.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Last night after work I got lucky on this couch.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Can I take a picture of your feet for my web site?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I live in a dark, greasy space under the escalator.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;For today only, you can pay for your purchases with hugs&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Have you seen a chimp in boys&#8217; overalls?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;If you&#8217;re interested, I sell the same junk out of my van, half-price&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;You want to use the fitting room or try this on at my place?&#8221; &#8220;Check it out &#8212; this one&#8217;s good for hiding body parts.&#8221; &#8220;You know how we can offer such low prices? We buy direct from Wal-Mart!&#8221; &#8220;Try our new scent &#8212; it makes you smell just like Regis.&#8221; &#8220;Last night after work [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[175,499,924],"class_list":["post-1891","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funlists","tag-bad","tag-department-store","tag-lists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1891","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1891"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1891\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1891"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1891"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1891"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}