{"id":1889,"date":"2015-01-04T01:50:05","date_gmt":"2015-01-03T23:50:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=1889"},"modified":"2015-01-04T01:50:05","modified_gmt":"2015-01-03T23:50:05","slug":"what-those-credit-card-applications-really-mean","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1889","title":{"rendered":"What Those Credit Card Applications Really Mean"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>So you have received a credit card application? You know what it says, but do know what it really means?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>What it says: &#8220;You have demonstrated financial responsibility&#8230;&#8221;<br \/>\nWhat it means: You&#8217;re breathing!<\/li>\n<p><li>What it says: &#8220;Our membership is difficult to obtain&#8230;&#8221;<br \/>\nWhat it means: Death row prisoners are not eligible&#8230; in most states!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>What it says: &#8220;We have shortened the application process&#8230;&#8221;<br \/>\nWhat it means: &#8220;We need lots of new members fast or we&#8217;ll go out of business!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>What it says: &#8220;You have no predetermined credit limit&#8230;&#8221;<br \/>\nWhat it means: &#8220;We&#8217;re not worried, we employ the Break Your Legs collection agency.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>What it says: &#8220;Exceptional Customer Service&#8230;&#8221;<br \/>\nWhat it means: Except when you need it!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>What it says: &#8220;Trained customer representatives await your call&#8230;&#8221;<br \/>\nWhat it means: &#8220;This is the part you talk into, and this is where you listen. Any questions?&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>What it says: &#8220;To apply for membership, fill out this short form&#8230;&#8221;<br \/>\nWhat it means: You&#8217;ll get the long form later.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>What it says: &#8220;You may direct us not to share this information with anyone else&#8230;&#8221;<br \/>\nWhat it means: &#8220;Catch us, if you can!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>What it says: &#8220;We look forward to receiving your completed application&#8230;&#8221;<br \/>\nWhat it means: &#8220;We baited the hook, let&#8217;s see if anyone bites!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>What it says: &#8220;You&#8217;ve been pre-approved&#8230;&#8221;<br \/>\nWhat it means: &#8220;You&#8217;ve been pre-approved to be Rejected!&#8221; or &#8220;We&#8217;ve already prepared your letter of denial&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So you have received a credit card application? You know what it says, but do know what it really means? What it says: &#8220;You have demonstrated financial responsibility&#8230;&#8221; What it means: You&#8217;re breathing! What it says: &#8220;Our membership is difficult to obtain&#8230;&#8221; What it means: Death row prisoners are not eligible&#8230; in most states! What [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[457,924,979],"class_list":["post-1889","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funlists","tag-credit-card-applications","tag-lists","tag-meaning"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1889","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1889"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1889\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1889"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1889"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1889"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}