{"id":1867,"date":"2015-01-03T20:00:36","date_gmt":"2015-01-03T18:00:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=1867"},"modified":"2015-01-03T20:00:36","modified_gmt":"2015-01-03T18:00:36","slug":"indications-canada-is-in-bad-shape","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1867","title":{"rendered":"Indications Canada is in Bad Shape"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>During a rather physical match against Norway, member of Canadian Curling Team arrested for &#8220;Assault with a Deadly Push-broom.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>National Olympic Training Facility now supplied by Ben Johnson Catering, Inc.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Baywatch: Vancouver&#8221; canceled due to goose bumps.<\/li>\n<li>Toronto and Montreal actively trying to trade for John Rocker.<\/li>\n<li>Shockingly disproportionate ratio of moose to homicidal professional athletes.<\/li>\n<li>Location:  between North Dakota and North Pole.<\/li>\n<li>Feather boa-clad Minnesota National Guard troops massing on the border to defend governor&#8217;s mansion against recent snowball incursions.<\/li>\n<li>Sudden uptick in teenage moose pregnancies.<\/li>\n<li>Trademark &#8220;Eh?&#8221; has given way to &#8220;Enh&#8221; accompanied by shrug.<\/li>\n<li>Detroit begins to rival Los Angeles in sheer number of resident illegal aliens.<\/li>\n<li>The Road to Heck now almost completely paved with maple leaves.<\/li>\n<li>In effort to prop up national tragedy of sagging male egos, Parliament considers adding an &#8220;f&#8221; to the proud &#8220;Canuck&#8221; nickname.<\/li>\n<li>Ten minutes of roughhousing with the kids leaves it &#8212; HOO! &#8212; breathless and sweaty.<\/li>\n<li>Caught smuggling that fresh pine scent in from Michigan.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>During a rather physical match against Norway, member of Canadian Curling Team arrested for &#8220;Assault with a Deadly Push-broom.&#8221; National Olympic Training Facility now supplied by Ben Johnson Catering, Inc. &#8220;Baywatch: Vancouver&#8221; canceled due to goose bumps. Toronto and Montreal actively trying to trade for John Rocker. Shockingly disproportionate ratio of moose to homicidal professional [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[304,924,1463],"class_list":["post-1867","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-regional","tag-canada","tag-lists","tag-trouble"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1867","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1867"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1867\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1867"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1867"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1867"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}