{"id":1844,"date":"2015-01-03T19:45:04","date_gmt":"2015-01-03T17:45:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=1844"},"modified":"2015-01-03T19:45:04","modified_gmt":"2015-01-03T17:45:04","slug":"signs-youve-invested-in-a-bad-internet-company","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1844","title":{"rendered":"Signs You&#8217;ve Invested in a Bad Internet Company"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>CEO stops by to use your computer because his electricity&#8217;s been turned off again.<\/li>\n<li>Company made solely up of former AARP executives.<\/li>\n<li>Merrill Lynch just downgraded the stock from &#8220;Sell&#8221; to &#8220;Tax Write-Off.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Your profits?  404 &#8212; Not Found<\/li>\n<li>Prospectus states:  &#8220;YOU MIGHT ALREADY BE A STOCKHOLDER!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Their big idea:  eHaircuts<\/li>\n<li>Their Lead Programmer is reasonably attractive &#038; has 20\/20 vision.<\/li>\n<li>IPO consists of 12 shares and a free CD and is underwritten by MC Hammer.<\/li>\n<li>At shareholder meeting you&#8217;re asked to wear a mouse pad as a name tag.<\/li>\n<li>In &#8220;Pirates of Silicon Valley&#8221;, company CEO was played by that &#8220;Ernest&#8221; guy.<\/li>\n<li>Their price-to-earnings ratio is higher than Marion Barry in a DEA evidence room.<\/li>\n<p><li>Good:  Team of young, enthusiastic go-getters;<br \/>\nBad: IPO&#8217;s financial goal was $57.45 to &#8220;repay Tommy&#8217;s mom.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>CEO stops by to use your computer because his electricity&#8217;s been turned off again. Company made solely up of former AARP executives. Merrill Lynch just downgraded the stock from &#8220;Sell&#8221; to &#8220;Tax Write-Off.&#8221; Your profits? 404 &#8212; Not Found Prospectus states: &#8220;YOU MIGHT ALREADY BE A STOCKHOLDER!&#8221; Their big idea: eHaircuts Their Lead Programmer is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[849,924,1463],"class_list":["post-1844","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funlists","tag-internet","tag-lists","tag-trouble"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1844","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1844"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1844\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1844"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1844"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1844"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}