{"id":1805,"date":"2015-01-03T11:15:18","date_gmt":"2015-01-03T09:15:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=1805"},"modified":"2015-01-03T11:15:18","modified_gmt":"2015-01-03T09:15:18","slug":"things-never-to-say","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1805","title":{"rendered":"Things You Should Never Say&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>&#8220;Don&#8217;t you have some laundry to do, or something?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;No, really, I was laughing about&#8230;this joke I heard one time.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Ooh, you are so cute when you get all upset.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;You&#8217;re just upset because your caboose is starting to spread.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Wait a minute, I get it&#8230; What time of the month is it?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Are you gonna cry? {Force lip to quiver mockingly}  Cry for your mommy?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;You sure you don&#8217;t want to consult the great Oprah on this one?&#8221;<\/li>\n<p><LI>&#8220;Sorry, I was just picturing you naked.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>&#8220;That reminds me. Next time you go to the store, could you add &#8216;giant cork&#8217; to the shopping list?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Whoa, time out honey, Frasier&#8217;s back.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Looks like someone had an extra bowl of Bitch Flakes this morning.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Is there anyway we could do this via e-mail?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Hey baby, if I want a lecture about commitment, I can get one from my real wife.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I could so use some oral sexual stimulation right now.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Whom are you kidding? We both know that thing isn&#8217;t loaded.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t you have some laundry to do, or something?&#8221; &#8220;No, really, I was laughing about&#8230;this joke I heard one time.&#8221; &#8220;Ooh, you are so cute when you get all upset.&#8221; &#8220;You&#8217;re just upset because your caboose is starting to spread.&#8221; &#8220;Wait a minute, I get it&#8230; What time of the month is it?&#8221; &#8220;Are you [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[924,1061],"class_list":["post-1805","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funlists","tag-lists","tag-never-say"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1805","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1805"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1805\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1805"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1805"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1805"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}