{"id":1789,"date":"2015-01-02T20:43:23","date_gmt":"2015-01-02T18:43:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=1789"},"modified":"2015-01-02T20:43:23","modified_gmt":"2015-01-02T18:43:23","slug":"a-loose-guide-on-exercising","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1789","title":{"rendered":"A Loose Guide on Exercising"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you, at 85 years old, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month.<\/li>\n<li>My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She&#8217;s 97 now, and we don&#8217;t know where the heck she is.<\/li>\n<li>I joined a health club last year, spent about $400.  Have not lost a pound. Apparently, you have to show up.<\/li>\n<li>I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I am doing.<\/li>\n<li>I figure if God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up on our body.<\/li>\n<li>I have flabby thighs, fortunately my stomach covers them.<\/li>\n<li>The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.<\/li>\n<li>If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you, at 85 years old, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She&#8217;s 97 now, and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[749,1543],"class_list":["post-1789","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-diet","tag-guide","tag-workout"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1789","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1789"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1789\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1789"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1789"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1789"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}