My computer crashed and died today
\nAnd I thought, “oh well what the hey”
\nNow I’d have time to clean my house
\nAnd see if I still had a spouse
\nIt started out with weird frustrations
\nCombined with mild heart palpitations
\nAnd then my ankles began to swell
\nWithdrawal symptoms from no AOL
\nChills ran up and down my spine
\nOh, God I had to get on-line
\nTo greet my buds and check my mail
\nI began to feel helpless and frail
\nThen I remembered the Good Guy’s Store
\nAnd all those computers by the door
\nI’d go there and when alone
\nWith no one looking I’d sign-on
\nI stepped up to a computer, clicked on AOL
\nThe Sign-On screen came up, man it sure looked swell
\nI clicked on the Guest name, then came the modem sound
\nI was having cold-sweats, as my heart began to pound
\nThen I typed my password, and the computer said, “Goodbye”
\nAnd that’s what I kept hearing each time that I would try.
\nThis was just an evil plot, the store was playing tricks
\nIf only they had known how bad I need my AOL fix
\nI …slowly… typed… my… password…
then…I…stood….and…waited
\nThe darned thing said , “Goodbye” again and I got real frustrated
\nThat’s when I shoved the keyboard thru the monitor screen
\nAnd the last thing I remember is my loud shreiking scream
\nWhen I woke I was handcuffed being booked I think
\nI asked the data entry cop, if he’d get me a drink
\nNow I’m sitting in his chair, and I know I can get well.
\nIf I can just use his computer to sign on AOL.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My computer crashed and died today And I thought, “oh well what the hey” Now I’d have time to clean my house And see if I still had a spouse It started out with weird frustrations Combined with mild heart palpitations And then my ankles began to swell Withdrawal symptoms from no AOL Chills ran […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[145,406,1172],"class_list":["post-174","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-aol","tag-aol","tag-computer","tag-poetry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/174","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=174"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/174\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=174"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=174"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=174"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}