Greetings Earthling …<\/p>\n
I am a silicon based life form from a galaxy far, far away, visiting your P.C. I have transformed myself into this email. As you are reading it, I am having sex with your eyeballs.<\/p>\n
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Oh god that feels good!<\/p>\n
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I especially enjoy it when you scroll down on me.<\/p>\n
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That’s it . … . keep scrolling. <\/p>\n
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Don’t stop! <\/p>\n
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Click it baby, click it! <\/p>\n
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Faster <\/p>\n
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Faster <\/p>\n
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more ooohh yeahh <\/p>\n
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harder <\/p>\n
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give it to me , just like I like it <\/p>\n
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Faster <\/p>\n
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F A S T E R ! <\/p>\n
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That was amazing! <\/p>\n
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You are the best I’ve had yet. And I know you enjoyed it too because you are smiling. Do you know how I know that you’re smiling? ‘cos I can see you.<\/p>\n
Now please pass me on to someone else because I’m really horny<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Greetings Earthling … I am a silicon based life form from a galaxy far, far away, visiting your P.C. I have transformed myself into this email. As you are reading it, I am having sex with your eyeballs. . . . . . . . . . . Oh god that feels good! . . […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[127,671],"class_list":["post-1722","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-email","tag-alien","tag-forward"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1722","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1722"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1722\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1722"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1722"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1722"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}