{"id":172,"date":"2014-12-21T14:38:27","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T14:38:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=172"},"modified":"2014-12-21T14:38:27","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T14:38:27","slug":"top-ten-changes-to-cable-television-resulting-from-aol-acquiring-time-warner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=172","title":{"rendered":"Top Ten Changes to Cable Television Resulting from AOL Acquiring Time Warner"},"content":{"rendered":"<ol>\n<li>When you turn on your television, you&#8217;ll hear &#8220;You&#8217;ve got Pay Per View&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>There will be a mysterious 19 hour period where your cable just wont work.<\/li>\n<li>Test Patterns:  Televisions equivilent to a busy signal.<\/li>\n<li>Every once in a while you have to have your cable reinstalled. <\/li>\n<li>100 Free Trial Hours of Cable Access which you can&#8217;t cancel, no matter how hard you try.<\/li>\n<li>CIA: Cable Instant Alerter.  Now all your friends will know when you are watching television.<\/li>\n<li>Childproof features on cable will prevent you from receiving programs from undesirable sources, including ones you really do want to receive.<\/li>\n<li>The cable repairman tells you to turn your TV off and back on again when you report your cable is on the fritz&#8230;. again.<\/li>\n<li>Relatives in neighboring towns make fun of you because you don&#8217;t have a &#8220;real&#8221; cable company like they do.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;You&#8217;ve been watching TV too long.  Your connection has been terminated.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When you turn on your television, you&#8217;ll hear &#8220;You&#8217;ve got Pay Per View&#8221;. There will be a mysterious 19 hour period where your cable just wont work. Test Patterns: Televisions equivilent to a busy signal. Every once in a while you have to have your cable reinstalled. 100 Free Trial Hours of Cable Access which [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[145,406,924],"class_list":["post-172","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-aol","tag-aol","tag-computer","tag-lists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/172","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=172"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/172\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=172"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=172"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=172"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}