{"id":1718,"date":"2015-01-02T12:54:52","date_gmt":"2015-01-02T10:54:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1718"},"modified":"2015-01-02T12:54:52","modified_gmt":"2015-01-02T10:54:52","slug":"the-forwarders-12-step-program","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1718","title":{"rendered":"The Forwarders 12 Step Program"},"content":{"rendered":"
    \n
  1. I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I DON’T forward an email!<\/li>\n
  2. I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog, if I do forward an e-mail.<\/li>\n
  3. Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria’s Secret doesn’t know anything about a gift certificate they’re supposed to send me.<\/li>\n
  4. Ford will NOT give me a 50% discount even if I forward my e-mail to more than 50 people!<\/li>\n
  5. I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies from Coca Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I send an e-mail to 10 people.<\/li>\n
  6. I will NEVER see a pop-up window if I forward an e-mail … NEVER –NEVER !!<\/li>\n
  7. There is NO SUCH THING as an e-mail tracking program, and I am not STUPID enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an e-mail to 10 or more people!<\/li>\n
  8. There is NO kid with cancer through the Make-a-Wish program in England collecting anything! He did when he was 7 years old. He is now cancer free and 35 years old and DOESN’T WANT ANY MORE POST CARDS, or GET-WELL CARDS.<\/li>\n
  9. The government does not have a bill in Congress called 901B (or whatever they named it this week) that, if passed, will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every e-mail we send.<\/li>\n
  10. There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flowers, characters, or program that I will receive immediately after I forward an e-mail. NONE, ZIP, ZERO, NADA!!<\/li>\n
  11. The American Red Cross will NOT donate 50 cents to certain individual dying of some never-heard-of disease for every e-mail address I send this to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations.<\/li>\n
  12. And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things by telling me I am not their friend or that I don’t believe in Jesus Christ. If God wants to send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will burn before He picks up a PC to pass it on!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Now, repeat this to yourself until you have it memorized, and send it along to at least 5 of your friends before the next full moon or you will surely be constipated for the next three months and all of your hair will fall out!<\/p>\n

    Just Kidding…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I DON’T forward an email! I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog, if I do forward an e-mail. Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria’s Secret doesn’t know anything about a gift certificate […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[73,103,672],"class_list":["post-1718","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-email","tag-12-step-program","tag-addict","tag-forwarders"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1718","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1718"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1718\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1718"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1718"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1718"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}