{"id":1716,"date":"2015-01-02T12:50:22","date_gmt":"2015-01-02T10:50:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1716"},"modified":"2015-01-02T12:50:22","modified_gmt":"2015-01-02T10:50:22","slug":"the-e-mail-blessing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1716","title":{"rendered":"The E-Mail Blessing"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p>Peace be unto you, your computer and the e-mail you receive this day.<\/p>\n<p>May the mail you receive not require you to multiply it tenfold or return it within a limited time frame.<\/p>\n<p>May the mail you receive not require you to take action to prove your love, friendship, or concern for the welfare of the sender.<\/p>\n<p>May the mail you receive not start with Fw Fw Fw, not contain strangely named attachments and contain a &#8220;&lt;&#8221; for every &#8220;&gt;&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>May the mail you receive not require you to look closely at those on the playground to see if they are the non-missing children You are to be searching for.<\/p>\n<p>May the mail you receive not cause you to change your eating habits to avoid plagues, pestilence and the eating of parts of things that you can&#8217;t buy at Wal-Mart.<\/p>\n<p>May the mail you receive not encourage you to carry a steel plate on which to sit in theaters or other public places.<\/p>\n<p>May the mail you receive not encourage you to learn the 800 number for the National Missing Child Bureau, Center for Disease Control or the FCC.<\/p>\n<p>May your inaction to the mail you receive not cause the Death of monks, missionaries, mothers or the misguided.<\/p>\n<p>And above all may peace and harmony be yours until Tomorrow.<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Peace be unto you, your computer and the e-mail you receive this day. May the mail you receive not require you to multiply it tenfold or return it within a limited time frame. May the mail you receive not require you to take action to prove your love, friendship, or concern for the welfare of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[248],"class_list":["post-1716","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-email","tag-blessing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1716","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1716"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1716\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1716"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1716"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1716"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}