{"id":1703,"date":"2015-01-02T12:32:47","date_gmt":"2015-01-02T10:32:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1703"},"modified":"2015-01-02T12:32:47","modified_gmt":"2015-01-02T10:32:47","slug":"my-name-is-crusty-girdletush","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1703","title":{"rendered":"My Name is Crusty Girdletush"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. Here is your dose&#8230; <\/p>\n<p>The following is an excerpt from a children&#8217;s book, &#8220;Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants&#8221;, by Dav Pilkey:<\/p>\n<p>The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Use the first letter of your first name to determine your NEW first name:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>a = stinky<\/li>\n<li>b = lumpy<\/li>\n<li>c = buttercup<\/li>\n<li>d = gidget<\/li>\n<li>e = crusty<\/li>\n<li>f = greasy<\/li>\n<li>g = fluffy<\/li>\n<li>h = cheeseball<\/li>\n<li>i = chim-chim<\/li>\n<li>j = poopsie<\/li>\n<li>k = flunky<\/li>\n<li>l = booger<\/li>\n<li>m = pinky<\/li>\n<li>n = zippy<\/li>\n<li>o = goober<\/li>\n<li>p = doofus<\/li>\n<li>q = slimy<\/li>\n<li>r = loopy<\/li>\n<li>s = snotty<\/li>\n<li>t = falafel<\/li>\n<li>u = dorkey<\/li>\n<li>v = squeezit<\/li>\n<li>w = oprah<\/li>\n<li>x = skipper<\/li>\n<li>y = dinky<\/li>\n<li>z = zsa-zsa<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Use the first letter of your last name to determine the first half of your NEW last name:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>a = diaper<\/li>\n<li>b = toilet<\/li>\n<li>c = giggle<\/li>\n<li>d = bubble<\/li>\n<li>e = girdle<\/li>\n<li>f = barf<\/li>\n<li>g = lizard<\/li>\n<li>h = waffle<\/li>\n<li>i = cootie<\/li>\n<li>j = monkey<\/li>\n<li>k = potty<\/li>\n<li>l = liver<\/li>\n<li>m = banana<\/li>\n<li>n = rhino<\/li>\n<li>o = burger<\/li>\n<li>p = hamster<\/li>\n<li>q = toad<\/li>\n<li>r = gizzard<\/li>\n<li>s = pizza<\/li>\n<li>t = gerbil<\/li>\n<li>u = chicken<\/li>\n<li>v = pickle<\/li>\n<li>w = chuckle<\/li>\n<li>x = tofu<\/li>\n<li>y = gorilla<\/li>\n<li>z = stinker<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Use the last letter of your last name to determine the second half of your NEW last name:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>a = head<\/li>\n<li>b = mouth<\/li>\n<li>c = face<\/li>\n<li>d = nose<\/li>\n<li>e = tush<\/li>\n<li>f = breath<\/li>\n<li>g = pants<\/li>\n<li>h = shorts<\/li>\n<li>i = lips<\/li>\n<li>j = honker<\/li>\n<li>k = butt<\/li>\n<li>l = brain<\/li>\n<li>m = tushie<\/li>\n<li>n = chunks<\/li>\n<li>o = hiney<\/li>\n<li>p = biscuits<\/li>\n<li>q = toes<\/li>\n<li>r = buns<\/li>\n<li>s = fanny<\/li>\n<li>t = sniffer<\/li>\n<li>u = sprinkles<\/li>\n<li>v = kisser<\/li>\n<li>w = squirt<\/li>\n<li>x = humperdinck<\/li>\n<li>y = brains<\/li>\n<li>z = juice<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Thus, for example, George Bush&#8217;s new name is Fluffy Toiletshorts and Barack Obama is Lumpy Burgerdiaper. Go figure. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<p>Now when you forward this, use your new name as the title of the subject line.<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\">A huge thanks to Dav Pilkey for the Captain Underpants series and this Captain Underpants Name Game.<br \/>\nCopyright \u00a9 1997-2002 by Dav Pilkey<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\">Dedicated to Erin.. Chica, I will always remember the good times!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. Here is your dose&#8230; The following is an excerpt from a children&#8217;s book, &#8220;Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants&#8221;, by Dav Pilkey: The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names&#8230; Use the first [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[311,482,1053],"class_list":["post-1703","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-email","tag-captain-underpants","tag-dav-pilkey","tag-name-game"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1703","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1703"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1703\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1703"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1703"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1703"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}