{"id":1678,"date":"2015-01-02T11:06:49","date_gmt":"2015-01-02T09:06:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1678"},"modified":"2015-01-02T11:06:49","modified_gmt":"2015-01-02T09:06:49","slug":"i-watched-an-ant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1678","title":{"rendered":"I Watched An Ant&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I watched an ant<br \/>\nclimb a blade of grass this morning.<br \/>\nWhen he reached the top,<br \/>\nhis weight bent the blade<br \/>\ndown to the ground.<br \/>\nThen, twisting his thorax<br \/>\nwith insectile precision,<br \/>\nhe grabbed hold of the next blade.<br \/>\nIn this manner,<br \/>\nHe traveled across the lawn,<br \/>\ncovering as much distance vertically<br \/>\nas he did horizontally,<br \/>\nwhich amused and delighted me.<br \/>\nAnd then, all at once,<br \/>\nI had what is sometimes<br \/>\ncalled an &#8220;epiphany&#8221;,<br \/>\na moment of heightened awareness<br \/>\nin  which everything becomes clear.<br \/>\nYes, hunched over that ant<br \/>\non my hands and knees,<br \/>\nI suddenly knew<br \/>\nwhat I had to do&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Quit drinking before noon.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I watched an ant climb a blade of grass this morning. When he reached the top, his weight bent the blade down to the ground. Then, twisting his thorax with insectile precision, he grabbed hold of the next blade. In this manner, He traveled across the lawn, covering as much distance vertically as he did [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[143,552,1172],"class_list":["post-1678","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-drinking","tag-ant","tag-drunk","tag-poetry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1678","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1678"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1678\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1678"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1678"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1678"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}