{"id":167,"date":"2014-12-21T14:26:53","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T14:26:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=167"},"modified":"2014-12-21T14:26:53","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T14:26:53","slug":"application-to-leave-aol","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=167","title":{"rendered":"Application to Leave AOL"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This form must be filled out in triplicate and e-mailed to all the regs not less than thirty days prior to your intended departure date. Applications will be reviewed the second Tuesday of each week from 1:10-1:15 am.  If you are approved for departure (which ain&#8217;t gonna happen so give it up), you will be notified by e-mail on the second Wednesday of next week.<\/p>\n<div align=\"center\">\n<p><b>Part A<\/b><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<ul>\n<li>Question 1:  In no less than 5,000 words explain your reason for desiring to be released from AOL.<\/li>\n<li>Question 2: What the hell do you think you are gonna do with all the spare time you are gonna have?<\/li>\n<li>Question 3:  Do you honestly believe your family likes you enough to talk to you?????<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><\/p>\n<div align=\"center\">\n<p><b>Part B<\/b><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>Personal Information:<br \/>\n<br \/>\nFull Given Name:________________________________<br \/>\nAddress_______________________________________<br \/>\n______________________________________________<br \/>\nDaytime phone__________________________________<br \/>\nWork phone____________________________________<br \/>\nParents phone__________________________________<br \/>\nNeighbors phone________________________________<br \/>\nStrangers phone_________________________________<\/p>\n<p>Age____________  SSN#_____________________<br \/>\nWeight_______________   Height___________________<br \/>\nBra size___________________ Jock size_____________<br \/>\nMothers Maiden Name_____________________________<br \/>\nGrandmothers Country of Origin_____________________<br \/>\n<\/P><\/p>\n<p>List Ten Names, Addresses &amp; Phone Numbers of places that you can be reached in case of a damn &#8220;we miss you&#8221; emergency: (please list the above info in alphabetical order&#8230;indicating where you are most likely to be at what time of day)<\/p>\n<p>Fill out this form and email to all known regs for review and opinion<\/p>\n<hr>\n<p>This part to be completed by regs, and returned to the silly person requesting to leave us. (make sure you file all the personal info that was given above in case they try to leave us anyway!! HeHeHeHe)<\/p>\n<p>Application Approved:      NO_______<br \/>\nApplication Denied:        YES______<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This form must be filled out in triplicate and e-mailed to all the regs not less than thirty days prior to your intended departure date. Applications will be reviewed the second Tuesday of each week from 1:10-1:15 am. If you are approved for departure (which ain&#8217;t gonna happen so give it up), you will be [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[145,149,406],"class_list":["post-167","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-aol","tag-aol","tag-application","tag-computer"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/167","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=167"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/167\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=167"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=167"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=167"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}