{"id":1623,"date":"2015-01-02T10:22:17","date_gmt":"2015-01-02T08:22:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1623"},"modified":"2015-01-02T10:22:17","modified_gmt":"2015-01-02T08:22:17","slug":"alcohol-warning-labels-we-should-see","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1623","title":{"rendered":"Alcohol Warning Labels We SHOULD See"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a garbage truck at 100 yards.<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a jerk.<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY think while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party.<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what ever happened to your pants anyway.<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and\/or name you can&#8217;t remember).<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named &#8220;Psycho.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you&#8217;re invisible (or invincible).<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a garbage truck at 100 yards. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a jerk. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[126,1503],"class_list":["post-1623","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-drinking","tag-alcohol-labels","tag-warning"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1623","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1623"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1623\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1623"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1623"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1623"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}