{"id":1621,"date":"2015-01-02T10:21:03","date_gmt":"2015-01-02T08:21:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1621"},"modified":"2015-01-02T10:21:03","modified_gmt":"2015-01-02T08:21:03","slug":"more-alcohol-warning-labels","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1621","title":{"rendered":"More Alcohol Warning Labels"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Due to increasing product liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA&#8217;s suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all containers:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees, and lower back.<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.<\/li>\n<li>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Due to increasing product liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA&#8217;s suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[126,1503],"class_list":["post-1621","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-drinking","tag-alcohol-labels","tag-warning"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1621","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1621"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1621\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1621"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1621"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1621"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}