{"id":1618,"date":"2015-01-02T10:19:18","date_gmt":"2015-01-02T08:19:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1618"},"modified":"2015-01-02T10:19:18","modified_gmt":"2015-01-02T08:19:18","slug":"abcs-of-drinking","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1618","title":{"rendered":"The ABC&#8217;s of Drinking"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>A &#8211; Alcohol:  The key to surviving college<\/li>\n<li>B &#8211; Beer:  It&#8217;s whats for dinner<\/li>\n<li>C &#8211; Class:  What you&#8217;re supposed to get up and go to after a Thursday night party<\/li>\n<li>D &#8211; Dancing:  A favorite pastime of almost every drunk, usually looks pathetic<\/li>\n<li>E &#8211; Emergency:  The keg is empty or there is no one over 21 in your drinking party<\/li>\n<li>F &#8211; Fdrinking* Up:  Signified by leaning over a toilet puking your guts out<\/li>\n<li>G &#8211; Games:  Anything that involves cards, quarters and chugging beers<\/li>\n<li>H &#8211; Hang-over:  Reminds you of how great last night was and how much you drank<\/li>\n<li>I &#8211; IA:  The Klan that really knows how to drink alcohol<\/li>\n<li>J &#8211; Jail:  Where you&#8217;ll end up after trying to use a fake ID or stagger home<\/li>\n<li>K &#8211; Kissing:  What you&#8217;ll do to anything that moves after 15 beers<\/li>\n<li>L &#8211; Lord:  Person you beg to get you out of every situation involving alcohol<\/li>\n<li>M &#8211; Money:  That which you no longer have due to too much partying<\/li>\n<li>N &#8211; Not Again!:  What you scream when you wake up beside someone you don&#8217;t know<\/li>\n<li>O &#8211; Oh shit!  What you say as you&#8217;re falling down the stairs.<\/li>\n<li>P &#8211; Pee:  What you have to do every five minutes while you&#8217;re drinking beer<\/li>\n<li>Q &#8211; Quilt:  What you puked on last night in bed and have to clean in the morning &#8211; YUCK!<\/li>\n<li>R &#8211; Reform:  What you promise God you will do while you&#8217;re puking in the toilet<\/li>\n<li>S &#8211; Sex:  What you did with that person you met last night while you were drunk<\/li>\n<li>T &#8211; Twenty-four:  The number of beers it takes ME to get drunk<\/li>\n<li>U &#8211; Underage:  Most of the drinking population in college town<\/li>\n<li>V &#8211; Vodka:  The mother of all alcohols and the best way to make Jello<\/li>\n<li>W &#8211; Worm:  The part of Tequila that reminds you of the porcelin god<\/li>\n<li>X &#8211; X-Ray:  How they can see into your stomach before they pump it (detox)<\/li>\n<li>Y &#8211; Yourself:  The one who drinks WAY TOO MUCH every week-end<\/li>\n<li>Z &#8211; Zima:  Zomething Different<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A &#8211; Alcohol: The key to surviving college B &#8211; Beer: It&#8217;s whats for dinner C &#8211; Class: What you&#8217;re supposed to get up and go to after a Thursday night party D &#8211; Dancing: A favorite pastime of almost every drunk, usually looks pathetic E &#8211; Emergency: The keg is empty or there is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[96,924,1133],"class_list":["post-1618","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-drinking","tag-abcs","tag-lists","tag-partying"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1618","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1618"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1618\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1618"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1618"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1618"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}