{"id":1586,"date":"2014-12-31T21:51:55","date_gmt":"2014-12-31T19:51:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1586"},"modified":"2014-12-31T21:51:55","modified_gmt":"2014-12-31T19:51:55","slug":"why-dogs-are-better-than-men","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1586","title":{"rendered":"Why Dogs are Better Than Men"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs miss you when you&#8217;re gone.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs look at your eyes.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs aren&#8217;t threatened by a woman with short hair.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs feel guilt when they&#8217;ve done something wrong.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs don&#8217;t feel threatened by your intelligence.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs understand what &#8220;no&#8221; means.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs don&#8217;t brag about whom they have slept with.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs do not play games with you &#8212; except fetch and they never laugh at how you throw.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know the most important thing is that you&#8217;re together.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs think you are a culinary genius.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs are nice to your relatives.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs don&#8217;t mind if you do all the driving.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs don&#8217;t step on the imaginary brake.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs admit it when they&#8217;re lost.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs don&#8217;t weigh down your purse with their stuff.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs aren&#8217;t threatened if you earn more than they do.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs mean it when they kiss you.<\/li>\n<li>You are never suspicious of your dog&#8217;s dreams.<\/li>\n<li>You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.<\/li>\n<li>You can train a dog.<\/li>\n<li>You can force a dog to take a bath.<\/li>\n<li>Middle-aged dogs don&#8217;t feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.<\/li>\n<li>Gorgeous dogs don&#8217;t know they&#8217;re gorgeous.<\/li>\n<li>The worst social disease you can get from  dogs is fleas. (OK, the *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there&#8217;s  a vaccine for it. Of course, your dog is vaccinated, so you get to kill the mangy flea-bag that gave it to you.)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public. Dogs miss you when you&#8217;re gone. Dogs look at your eyes. Dogs aren&#8217;t threatened by a woman with short hair. Dogs feel guilt when they&#8217;ve done something wrong. Dogs don&#8217;t feel threatened by your intelligence. Dogs understand what &#8220;no&#8221; means. Dogs don&#8217;t brag about whom they [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[232,309],"class_list":["post-1586","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dogs","tag-better-than-men","tag-canine"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1586","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1586"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1586\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1586"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1586"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1586"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}