{"id":1582,"date":"2014-12-31T21:32:37","date_gmt":"2014-12-31T19:32:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1582"},"modified":"2014-12-31T21:32:37","modified_gmt":"2014-12-31T19:32:37","slug":"why-dogs-cant-use-computers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1582","title":{"rendered":"Why Dogs Can&#8217;t Use Computers"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>He&#8217;s distracted by cats chasing his mouse.<\/li>\n<li>SIT and STAY were hard enough; CUT and PASTE are out of the question.<\/li>\n<li>Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work.<\/li>\n<li>Three words: carpal paw syndrome.<\/li>\n<li>Involuntary tail wagging is a dead give-away that he&#8217;s browsing www.purina.com instead of working.<\/li>\n<li>The fire hydrant icon is simply too frustrating.<\/li>\n<li>He can&#8217;t help attacking the screen when he hears &#8220;You&#8217;ve Got Mail&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s too messy to &#8220;mark&#8221; every Web site he visits.<\/li>\n<li>The FETCH command isn&#8217;t available on all platforms.<\/li>\n<li>He can&#8217;t stick his head out of Windows 8.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>He&#8217;s distracted by cats chasing his mouse. SIT and STAY were hard enough; CUT and PASTE are out of the question. Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work. Three words: carpal paw syndrome. Involuntary tail wagging is a dead give-away that he&#8217;s browsing www.purina.com instead of working. The fire hydrant icon is simply too frustrating. He [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[309,414],"class_list":["post-1582","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dogs","tag-canine","tag-computers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1582","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1582"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1582\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1582"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1582"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1582"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}