{"id":158,"date":"2014-12-21T14:14:54","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T14:14:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=158"},"modified":"2014-12-21T14:14:54","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T14:14:54","slug":"aols-new-terms-of-service","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=158","title":{"rendered":"AOL&#8217;S New Terms of Service"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Rule: all customers must wear pants while online.<\/li>\n<li>All email automatically cc&#8217;d to your ex-wife.<\/li>\n<li>Free ant farm (stocked!) with sign-up.<\/li>\n<li>Extra charge incurred for denying offers for AOL credit card.<\/li>\n<li>Instant Messages now read out loud to you in your choice  of voice: Gilbert Gottfried or Phyllis Diller.<\/li>\n<li>New feature: all junk email automatically sent to your printer!<\/li>\n<li>Special rates for bulk mailers!<\/li>\n<li>Genetic gender verification now required in chat rooms.<\/li>\n<li>Steve Case will visit your house and personally apologize for busy signals.<\/li>\n<li>Special bonus! Free dentistry with the premium access plan.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Rule: all customers must wear pants while online. All email automatically cc&#8217;d to your ex-wife. Free ant farm (stocked!) with sign-up. Extra charge incurred for denying offers for AOL credit card. Instant Messages now read out loud to you in your choice of voice: Gilbert Gottfried or Phyllis Diller. New feature: all junk email automatically [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[145,406,924],"class_list":["post-158","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-aol","tag-aol","tag-computer","tag-lists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/158","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=158"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/158\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=158"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=158"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=158"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}