{"id":1559,"date":"2014-12-31T20:59:48","date_gmt":"2014-12-31T18:59:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1559"},"modified":"2014-12-31T20:59:48","modified_gmt":"2014-12-31T18:59:48","slug":"dog-haiku","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1559","title":{"rendered":"Dog Haiku"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I lie belly-up<br \/>\nIn the sunshine, happier than<br \/>\nYou will ever be.<\/p>\n<p>Today I sniffed<br \/>\nMany dog behinds &#8212; I celebrate<br \/>\nBy kissing your face.<\/p>\n<p>I sound the alarm!<br \/>\nPaper boy &#8212; come to kill us all<br \/>\nLook! Look! Look! Look! Look!<\/p>\n<p>I sound the alarm!<br \/>\nGarbage man &#8212; come to kill us all<br \/>\nLook! Look! Look! Look! Look!<\/p>\n<p>How do I love thee?<br \/>\nThe ways are as numberless as<br \/>\nMy hairs on the rug.<\/p>\n<p>My human is home!<br \/>\nI am so ecstatic I have<br \/>\nMade a puddle.<\/p>\n<p>I Hate my choke chain<br \/>\nLook, world, they strangle me! Ack!<br \/>\nAck! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!<\/p>\n<p>Sleeping here, my chin<br \/>\nOn your foot &#8212; no greater bliss &#8212; well,<br \/>\nMaybe catching rats<\/p>\n<p>Look in my eyes and<br \/>\nDeny it. No human could<br \/>\nLove you as much as I do.<\/p>\n<p>The cat is not all<br \/>\nBad &#8211;she fills the litter box<br \/>\nWith tootsie rolls.<\/p>\n<p>Dig under the fence&#8211;why?<br \/>\nBecause it is there. Because it&#8217;s<br \/>\nThere. Because it&#8217;s there.<\/p>\n<p>I am your best friend,<br \/>\nNow, always, and especially<br \/>\nWhen you are eating.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I lie belly-up In the sunshine, happier than You will ever be. Today I sniffed Many dog behinds &#8212; I celebrate By kissing your face. I sound the alarm! Paper boy &#8212; come to kill us all Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! I sound the alarm! Garbage man &#8212; come to kill us all Look! [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[309,757,1172],"class_list":["post-1559","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dogs","tag-canine","tag-haiku","tag-poetry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1559","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1559"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1559\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1559"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1559"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1559"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}