{"id":1556,"date":"2014-12-31T20:58:35","date_gmt":"2014-12-31T18:58:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1556"},"modified":"2014-12-31T20:58:35","modified_gmt":"2014-12-31T18:58:35","slug":"why-dogs-are-better-than-girlfriends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1556","title":{"rendered":"Why Dogs are Better than Girlfriends"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Dogs love it when your friends come over.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs don&#8217;t care if you use their shampoo.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs think you sing great.<\/li>\n<li>A dog&#8217;s time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs don&#8217;t expect you to call when you&#8217;re running late. The later you are, the more excited a dog is to see you.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs don&#8217;t notice if you call them by another dog&#8217;s name.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs don&#8217;t mind if you give their offspring away.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs love red meat.<\/li>\n<li>Anyone can get a good looking dog.<\/li>\n<li>If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don&#8217;t hate it.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs don&#8217;t shop.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.<\/li>\n<li>A dog&#8217;s disposition stays the same throughout the entire month.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs never need to examine the relationship.<\/li>\n<li>A dog&#8217;s parents never visit.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs love long car trips.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs understand that everything smaller than it is meant to be chased.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs don&#8217;t hate their bodies.<\/li>\n<li>No dog ever bought Kenny G, Yanni, or Barbra Streisand albums.<\/li>\n<li>No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs never criticize.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs never expect gifts.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs don&#8217;t worry about germs.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs don&#8217;t care about or get jealous of any other dog you ever had.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet desk and the backs of your drawers.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs don&#8217;t let magazine articles guide their lives.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs would rather you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.<\/li>\n<li>You never have to wait for a dog. They&#8217;re always ready to go.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs don&#8217;t borrow your shirts.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs aren&#8217;t catty.<\/li>\n<li>Dogs seldom outlive you.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dogs love it when your friends come over. Dogs don&#8217;t care if you use their shampoo. Dogs think you sing great. A dog&#8217;s time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink. Dogs don&#8217;t expect you to call when you&#8217;re running late. The later you are, the more excited a dog is to see [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[309,721,924],"class_list":["post-1556","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dogs","tag-canine","tag-girlfriends","tag-lists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1556","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1556"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1556\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1556"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1556"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1556"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}