{"id":1542,"date":"2014-12-31T20:36:24","date_gmt":"2014-12-31T18:36:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1542"},"modified":"2014-12-31T20:36:24","modified_gmt":"2014-12-31T18:36:24","slug":"does-your-dog-own-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1542","title":{"rendered":"Does Your Dog Own You?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>See how many of these statements apply to you and your dog.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You believe every dog is a lap dog.<\/li>\n<li>If you are cold, you put a sweater on your dog.<\/li>\n<li>You have a picture of your dog in your wallet,  but not one of your kids.<\/li>\n<li>You often claim that it was love at first sight with you and your dog.<\/li>\n<li>You have your dog talk to your friends on the phone.<\/li>\n<li>You can&#8217;t fully enjoy yourself without your dog.<\/li>\n<li>No matter how large your bed is, it is not large enough for you and your dog(s).<\/li>\n<li>You spend more on clothes and food for your dog than you do for yourself.<\/li>\n<li>You have no reservations about kissing your dog  on the lips, even when you know where his lips have been.<\/li>\n<li>You believe it is your duty to talk to, pat, and even feed every dog in the neighborhood. You know their names.<\/li>\n<li>You let the neighbor&#8217;s dog sleep over.<\/li>\n<li>You believe there is no such thing as a naughty dog.<\/li>\n<li>Your vet and grooming bills exceed your rent.<\/li>\n<li>When you need someone to talk to, your dog is your first choice.<\/li>\n<li>You sit on the floor if the dog got in the chair first.<\/li>\n<li>You talk to your dog when you are driving. He answers.<\/li>\n<li>Your dog taught you to fetch and roll over.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>See how many of these statements apply to you and your dog. You believe every dog is a lap dog. If you are cold, you put a sweater on your dog. You have a picture of your dog in your wallet, but not one of your kids. You often claim that it was love at [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[309,1118],"class_list":["post-1542","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dogs","tag-canine","tag-ownership"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1542","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1542"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1542\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1542"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1542"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1542"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}