{"id":1539,"date":"2014-12-31T20:30:12","date_gmt":"2014-12-31T18:30:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1539"},"modified":"2014-12-31T20:30:12","modified_gmt":"2014-12-31T18:30:12","slug":"coldwater","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1539","title":{"rendered":"Coldwater"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather and while eating the breakfast of eggs and bacon prepared for him, he noticed a film-like substance on his plate. So he says, &#8220;Grandfather, are these plates clean?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>His grandfather replies, &#8220;Those plates are as clean as Coldwater can get them, so go on and finish your meal&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed many little black specks around the edge of his plate, so again he asked, &#8220;Grandfather are you sure these plates are clean?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Without looking up from his burger, the grandfather says, &#8220;I told you those dishes are as clean as Coldwater can get them, now don&#8217;t ask me about it anymore&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>Well, later that day, they were on their way out to get dinner. As he was leaving the house, grandfather&#8217;s dog who was lying on the floor started to growl and would not let him pass. &#8220;Grandfather, your dog won&#8217;t let me out&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching, his grandfather shouted, &#8220;Coldwater, get your butt out of the way!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather and while eating the breakfast of eggs and bacon prepared for him, he noticed a film-like substance on his plate. So he says, &#8220;Grandfather, are these plates clean?&#8221; His grandfather replies, &#8220;Those plates are as clean as Coldwater can get them, so go on and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[521,532],"class_list":["post-1539","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dogs","tag-dishwashing","tag-dogs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1539","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1539"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1539\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1539"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1539"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1539"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}