{"id":1523,"date":"2014-12-31T19:58:36","date_gmt":"2014-12-31T17:58:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1523"},"modified":"2014-12-31T19:58:36","modified_gmt":"2014-12-31T17:58:36","slug":"new-terminology","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1523","title":{"rendered":"New Terminology"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Father<br \/>\nA banker provided by nature.<\/li>\n<p><li>Boss<br \/>\nSomeone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Smile<br \/>\nA curve that can set a lot of things straight.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Rumor<br \/>\nNews that travels at the speed of sound.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Dictionary<br \/>\nThe only place where divorce comes before marriage.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>College<br \/>\nA place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Ecstasy<br \/>\nA feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Office<br \/>\nA place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Yawn<br \/>\nThe only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Etc.<br \/>\nA sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Committee<br \/>\nIndividuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Classic<br \/>\nA book which people praise, but do not read.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Marriage<br \/>\nIt&#8217;s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master&#8217;s.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Worry<br \/>\nInterest paid on trouble before it falls due.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Experience<br \/>\nThe name men give to their mistakes.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Tears<br \/>\nThe hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Atom Bomb<br \/>\nAn invention to end all inventions.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Philosopher<br \/>\nA fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Diplomat<br \/>\nA person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Optimist<br \/>\nA person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Pessimist<br \/>\nA person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Miser<br \/>\nA person who lives poor so that he can die rich.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Criminal<br \/>\nA guy no different from the rest&#8230; except that he got caught.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Politician<br \/>\nOne who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Doctor<br \/>\nA person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Software Engineer<br \/>\nSomeone who is paid for reading this !!!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Father A banker provided by nature. Boss Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. Smile A curve that can set a lot of things straight. Rumor News that travels at the speed of sound. Dictionary The only place where divorce comes before marriage. College A place where some [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[492,1067,1422],"class_list":["post-1523","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dictionaries","tag-definitions","tag-new-words","tag-terminology"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1523","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1523"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1523\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1523"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1523"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1523"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}