{"id":1494,"date":"2014-12-31T19:35:47","date_gmt":"2014-12-31T17:35:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1494"},"modified":"2014-12-31T19:35:47","modified_gmt":"2014-12-31T17:35:47","slug":"fractured-dictionary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1494","title":{"rendered":"Fractured Dictionary"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Arbitrator ar&#8217;-bi-tray-ter:<br \/>\nA cook that leaves Arby&#8217;s to work at McDonald&#8217;s<\/li>\n<p><li>Avoidable uh-voy&#8217;-duh-buhl:<br \/>\nWhat a bullfighter tries to do<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Baloney buh-lo&#8217;-nee:<br \/>\nWhere some hemlines fall<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Bernadette burn&#8217;-a-det:<br \/>\nThe act of torching a mortgage<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Burglarize bur&#8217;-gler-ize:<br \/>\nWhat a crook sees with<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Control kon-trol&#8217;:<br \/>\nA short, ugly inmate<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Counterfeiters kown-ter-fit-ers:<br \/>\nWorkers who put together kitchen cabinets<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Eclipse i-klips&#8217;:<br \/>\nwhat an English barber does for a living<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Eyedropper i&#8217;-drop-ur:<br \/>\na clumsy ophthalmologist<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Heroes hee&#8217;-rhos:<br \/>\nwhat a guy in a boat does<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Left Bank left&#8217; bangk&#8217;:<br \/>\nwhat the robber did when his bag was full of loot<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Misty mis&#8217;-tee:<br \/>\nHow golfers create divots<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Paradox par&#8217;-uh-doks:<br \/>\ntwo physicians<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Parasites par&#8217;-uh-sites:<br \/>\nwhat you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Pharmacist farm&#8217;-uh-sist:<br \/>\na helper on the farm<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Polarize po&#8217;-lur-ize:<br \/>\nwhat penguins see with<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Primate pri&#8217;-mat:<br \/>\nremoving your spouse from in front of the TV<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Relief ree-leef&#8217;:<br \/>\nwhat trees do in the spring<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Rubberneck rub&#8217;-er-nek:<br \/>\nwhat you do to relax your wife<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Seamstress seem&#8217;-stres:<br \/>\ndescribes 250 pounds in a size six<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Selfish sel&#8217;-fish:<br \/>\nwhat the owner of a seafood store does<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Subdued sub-dood&#8217;:<br \/>\nlike, a guy, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Sudafed sood&#8217;-a-fed:<br \/>\nbringing litigation against a government official<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Arbitrator ar&#8217;-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby&#8217;s to work at McDonald&#8217;s Avoidable uh-voy&#8217;-duh-buhl: What a bullfighter tries to do Baloney buh-lo&#8217;-nee: Where some hemlines fall Bernadette burn&#8217;-a-det: The act of torching a mortgage Burglarize bur&#8217;-gler-ize: What a crook sees with Control kon-trol&#8217;: A short, ugly inmate Counterfeiters kown-ter-fit-ers: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets Eclipse [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[492,674,1471],"class_list":["post-1494","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dictionaries","tag-definitions","tag-fractured","tag-twisted"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1494","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1494"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1494\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1494"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1494"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1494"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}