{"id":1462,"date":"2014-12-31T00:25:48","date_gmt":"2014-12-30T22:25:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1462"},"modified":"2014-12-31T00:25:48","modified_gmt":"2014-12-30T22:25:48","slug":"cats-computer-dictionary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1462","title":{"rendered":"Cat&#8217;s Computer Dictionary"},"content":{"rendered":"<p align=\"center\">Copyright 2001 Mark Mason<br \/>\nAll Rights Reserved<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.catdiary.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/www.catdiary.com<\/a><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Browser<br \/>\nWhat I like to be at 3:00 am when I rearrange all your books on your desk. Where&#8217;s a kitty supposed to lay down with all that mess?<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Wallpaper<br \/>\nMy favorite stuff, mostly in the kitchen and bathroom, I use to exercise my claws on.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Defrag<br \/>\nCoughing up hairballs. Hey, it&#8217;s just a little maintenance!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Hyperlink<br \/>\nFake hot dog filled with my favorite pick-me-up: cat-nip.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Server<br \/>\nMy human subject. You can&#8217;t call them waitress, or waiter, or slave anymore; it&#8217;s not politically correct.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Shut Down<br \/>\nNap time &#8211; my favorite 16 hours of the day.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Laptop<br \/>\nLittle ol&#8217; me. Certainly cuter, more useful, valuable, and entertaining. and no batteries are required.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Default<br \/>\nBlame. If something gets broken around the house, don&#8217;t look at me! It&#8217;s probably that human I have to share my house with, or the dog&#8217;s fault!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Window<br \/>\nThe best place to watch birds, squirrels, and that weird dog next door eat out of the trash can and chase cars.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Home Page<br \/>\nMy papers &#8211; newspapers, that is, that I used before graduating to the real kitty litter box. I think they were the &#8220;Wanted: DOG&#8221; ads.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n<hr align=\"CENTER\" width=\"80%\">\n<p>This is part of a great collection of great cat stories, told from the cat&#8217;s perspective. For more information <a href=\"http:\/\/www.catdiary.com\/\">please visit the website<\/a>!<\/P><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Copyright 2001 Mark Mason All Rights Reserved http:\/\/www.catdiary.com Browser What I like to be at 3:00 am when I rearrange all your books on your desk. Where&#8217;s a kitty supposed to lay down with all that mess? Wallpaper My favorite stuff, mostly in the kitchen and bathroom, I use to exercise my claws on. Defrag [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[322,325,406,492,961],"class_list":["post-1462","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dictionaries","tag-cat","tag-cat-diary","tag-computer","tag-definitions","tag-mark-mason"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1462","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1462"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1462\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1462"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1462"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1462"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}