{"id":1460,"date":"2014-12-31T00:20:47","date_gmt":"2014-12-30T22:20:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1460"},"modified":"2014-12-31T00:20:47","modified_gmt":"2014-12-30T22:20:47","slug":"cat-to-english-dictionary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1460","title":{"rendered":"Cat to English Dictionary"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Miaow<br \/>\nFeed me.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>meeow<br \/>\nPet me.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>mrooww<br \/>\nI love you.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>miioo-oo-oo<br \/>\nI am in love and must meet my betrothed outside beneath the hedge. Don&#8217;t wait up.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>mrow<br \/>\nI feel like making noise.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>rrrow-mawww<br \/>\nPlease, the time has come to clean the cat box.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>rrrow-miawww<br \/>\nI have remedied the cat box untidiness by shoveling the contents as far out of the box as possible. <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>miaowmiaow<br \/>\nPlay with me.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>miaowmioaw<br \/>\nHave you noticed the shortage of available cat toys in this room?<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>mioawmioaw<br \/>\nSince I can find nothing better to play with, I shall see what happens when I sharpen my claws on this handy piece of furniture.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>raowwwww<br \/>\nI think I shall now spend time licking the most private parts of my anatomy. <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>mrowwwww<br \/>\n(only heard in males)  I am now recalling, with sorrow, that some of my private parts did not return with me from that visit to the vet.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>roww-maww-roww<br \/>\nI am so glad to see that you have returned home with both arms full of groceries.  I will now rub myself against your legs and attempt to trip you as you walk towards the kitchen.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>mmeww<br \/>\nI believe I have heard a burglar. If you would like to go and beat him senseless, I shall be happy to keep your spot in the bed warm.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>gakk-ak-ak<br \/>\nMy digestive passages seem to have formed a hairball.  Wherever could this have come from?  I shall leave it here upon the carpeting.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>mow<br \/>\nSnuggling is a good idea.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>moww<br \/>\nShedding is pretty good, too.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>mowww!<br \/>\nI was enjoying snuggling and shedding in the warm clean laundry until you removed me so unkindly.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>miaow! miaow!<br \/>\nI have discovered that, although one may be able to wedge one&#8217;s body through the gap behind the stove and into that little drawer filled with pots and pans, the reverse path is slightly more difficult to navigate.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>mraakk!<br \/>\nOh, small bird!  Please come over here.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>ssssroww!<br \/>\nI believe that I have found a squirrel.  I shall now act terribly brave.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>mmmmmmm<br \/>\nIf I sit in the sunshine for another week or so, I think I might be satisfied. <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Miaow Feed me. meeow Pet me. mrooww I love you. miioo-oo-oo I am in love and must meet my betrothed outside beneath the hedge. Don&#8217;t wait up. mrow I feel like making noise. rrrow-mawww Please, the time has come to clean the cat box. rrrow-miawww I have remedied the cat box untidiness by shoveling the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[322,492],"class_list":["post-1460","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dictionaries","tag-cat","tag-definitions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1460","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1460"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1460\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1460"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1460"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1460"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}