{"id":1435,"date":"2014-12-30T00:57:59","date_gmt":"2014-12-29T22:57:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1435"},"modified":"2014-12-30T00:57:59","modified_gmt":"2014-12-29T22:57:59","slug":"reasons-why-women-are-better-than-guitars","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1435","title":{"rendered":"Reasons Why Women are Better than Guitars"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Women are more fun when the power goes out<\/li>\n<li>You can&#8217;t get your guitar wet<\/li>\n<li>Ever try to screw a guitar?<\/li>\n<li>The input to a guitar is only 1\/4&#8243; (ouch!)<\/li>\n<li>A guitar won&#8217;t beg to be played<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it<\/li>\n<li>When playing a guitar, you can use your teeth, but not your tongue<\/li>\n<li>Guitars aren&#8217;t very aggressive<\/li>\n<li>A guitar won&#8217;t play you back<\/li>\n<li>You need two hands to make a guitar scream<\/li>\n<li>A guitar won&#8217;t scratch *your* back<\/li>\n<li>A guitar won&#8217;t drive you home if you&#8217;re too drunk<\/li>\n<li>A guitar doesn&#8217;t care who plays it<\/li>\n<li>You can&#8217;t play two guitars at once<\/li>\n<li>You can&#8217;t fall in love with a guitar<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s a lot more fun to stretch out a woman than guitar strings.<\/li>\n<li>Guitar lessons aren&#8217;t free and aren&#8217;t as much fun.<\/li>\n<li>If you really *do* want little guitars, you have to buy them.<\/li>\n<li>You can&#8217;t marry a rich guitar.<\/li>\n<li>Even a good guitar won&#8217;t usually last a whole lifetime.<\/li>\n<li>Guitars don&#8217;t taste very good.<\/li>\n<li>A guitar won&#8217;t give you head.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Women are more fun when the power goes out You can&#8217;t get your guitar wet Ever try to screw a guitar? The input to a guitar is only 1\/4&#8243; (ouch!) A guitar won&#8217;t beg to be played It&#8217;s no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it When playing [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[753,924,1536],"class_list":["post-1435","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-women","tag-guitars","tag-lists","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1435","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1435"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1435\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1435"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1435"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1435"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}