{"id":1429,"date":"2014-12-30T00:53:14","date_gmt":"2014-12-29T22:53:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1429"},"modified":"2014-12-30T00:53:14","modified_gmt":"2014-12-29T22:53:14","slug":"what-i-want-in-a-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1429","title":{"rendered":"What I Want in a Man"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><UL><\/p>\n<li><strong>What I Want in a Man (age 22)<\/strong><br \/>\nHandsome<br \/>\nCharming<br \/>\nFinancially successful<br \/>\nA caring listener<br \/>\nWitty<br \/>\nIn good shape<br \/>\nDresses with style<br \/>\nAppreciates finer things<br \/>\nFull of thoughtful surprises<br \/>\nAn imaginative, romantic lover, every day of the week<\/li>\n<p><li><strong>What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)<\/strong><br \/>\nNice looking (prefer hair on his head)<br \/>\nOpens car doors, holds chairs<br \/>\nHas enough money for a nice dinner<br \/>\nListens more than talks<br \/>\nLaughs at my jokes<br \/>\nCarries bags of groceries with ease<br \/>\nOwns at least one tie<br \/>\nAppreciates a good home-cooked meal<br \/>\nRemembers birthdays and anniversaries<br \/>\nSeeks romance at least 4-5 times a week<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><strong>What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)<\/strong><br \/>\nNot too ugly (bald head OK)<br \/>\nDoesn&#8217;t drive off until I&#8217;m in the car<br \/>\nWorks steady &#8211; splurges on dinner out occasionally<br \/>\nNods head when I&#8217;m talking<br \/>\nUsually remembers punch lines of jokes<br \/>\nIs in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture<br \/>\nWears a shirt that covers his stomach<br \/>\nKnows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids<br \/>\nRemembers to put the toilet seat down<br \/>\nShaves most weekends<br \/>\nInterested in romance 2-3 times a week<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><strong>What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)<\/strong><br \/>\nKeeps hair in nose and ears trimmed<br \/>\nDoesn&#8217;t belch or scratch in public<br \/>\nDoesn&#8217;t borrow money too often<br \/>\nDoesn&#8217;t nod off to sleep when I&#8217;m venting<br \/>\nDoesn&#8217;t retell the same joke too many times<br \/>\nIs in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends<br \/>\nUsually wears matching socks and fresh underwear<br \/>\nAppreciates a good TV dinner<br \/>\nRemembers your name on occasion<br \/>\nShaves some weekends<br \/>\nHope for a kiss each day<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><strong>What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)<\/strong><br \/>\nDoesn&#8217;t scare small children<br \/>\nRemembers where bathroom is<br \/>\nDoesn&#8217;t require much money for upkeep<br \/>\nOnly snores lightly when asleep<br \/>\nRemembers why he&#8217;s laughing<br \/>\nIs in good enough shape to stand up by himself<br \/>\nUsually wears some clothes<br \/>\nLikes soft foods<br \/>\nRemembers where he left his teeth<br \/>\nRemembers that it&#8217;s the weekend<br \/>\nRemembers what romance was like<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li><strong>What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)<\/strong><br \/>\nBreathing<br \/>\nDoesn&#8217;t miss the toilet<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><\/UL><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What I Want in a Man (age 22) Handsome Charming Financially successful A caring listener Witty In good shape Dresses with style Appreciates finer things Full of thoughtful surprises An imaginative, romantic lover, every day of the week What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) Nice looking (prefer hair on his head) [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[621,924,991],"class_list":["post-1429","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-women","tag-fantasy","tag-lists","tag-men"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1429","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1429"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1429\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1429"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1429"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1429"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}