{"id":1425,"date":"2014-12-30T00:43:22","date_gmt":"2014-12-29T22:43:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1425"},"modified":"2014-12-30T00:43:22","modified_gmt":"2014-12-29T22:43:22","slug":"wedding-messages","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1425","title":{"rendered":"Wedding Messages"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<LI>The Bureau of Meteorology forecasts rainstorms so the bride can expect a few good inches overnight.<\/LI><\/p>\n<li>Love is a thousand miles long but comes in six inch installments.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Confucious say man who sink into womans arms soon have arms in womans sink.<\/li>\n<p><\/P><\/p>\n<li>Sorry I cannot be at Wedding&#8230; Please send me a photo of Bride and Groom Mounted.<\/li>\n<li>Easy on the throttle, steady on the gears, roll her over gently and She&#8217;ll last for many years.<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t keep him in the dog house too often or he might give his bone to the woman next door.<\/li>\n<li>Treat him like a flower&#8230; grab him by the stalk.<\/li>\n<li>If you don&#8217;t want the Stork to come, Shoot in the air.<\/li>\n<li>Go for it mate. We all did!<\/li>\n<li>All the best from Mr and Mrs Farkin and all the Farkin kids.<\/li>\n<li>She offered her honor, He honored her offer, and all night he was on her and off her.<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t Spring on the Inner-Spring this Spring or there will be an Off-Spring next Spring.<\/li>\n<li>Hope you honeymoon is like a train ride through the Khyber Pass, One long hard route.<\/li>\n<li>Please remember that Brandy makes you Randy, Whisky makes you Frisky, but its a good stiff Johnny Walker that makes you Pregnant.<\/li>\n<li>Travel Agency to Bride: The groom&#8217;s face leaves at midnight. Be on it.<\/li>\n<li>Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population.<\/li>\n<li>Football coach to bride: If you&#8217;ve tried him in 18 positions and he&#8217;s still no good, pull him off.<\/li>\n<li>Treat the Bride like a new car, go easy for the first 500.<\/li>\n<p><\/UL><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Bureau of Meteorology forecasts rainstorms so the bride can expect a few good inches overnight. Love is a thousand miles long but comes in six inch installments. &#8220;The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it. &#8220;Confucious say man who sink into womans arms soon [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[924,965,1512],"class_list":["post-1425","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-men-vs-womendating","tag-lists","tag-marriage","tag-wedding"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1425","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1425"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1425\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1425"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1425"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1425"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}